Monday, March 1, 2010

This Story Tells Itself

I just don't know how to tell this story. It essentially tells itself, so maybe I'll just get out of the way.

Scene: Salisbury, NC. Print shop.
Characters: Cameron the Great/ aka Muh Diddy and the Printer Guy
Quotable quote: "Are you bragging or what?" - Printer Guy

Rewind to my sweet father dreaming up ways to make my adorable mother's 60th birthday a smashing success. You may recall that we have a celebration under way for March; A beach trip to celebrate the muddah of the millennium. This was a surprise party for the actual day...which was at the zoo. Of course.

Carol has simple joy. It does not take diamonds to woo her. Dad lucked out with a hippie who would rather gaze at her emerald engagement ring any day. Shells are her love language. BIRDS her hobby... for the love. So, naturally, pop (a smart man) makes plans to have her nearest and dearest waiting at the zoo for their arrival.

Surprise one: Kristin (took back the birth-right for this one) left her home in Columbia to be there, flowers in hand, at just after 8am on a Saturday. Mom = delighted. Kristin's job, to convince mom to still go the zoo even though she'd come to town. Executed brilliantly... even though I kept calling and attempting to ruin the surprise, albeit inadvertently.

Surprise two: Friends and family huddled behind a birthday sign! What a thrill for the old girl! She loves a party (and between you and me, parties like a woman of 54.)

THIS is where the story gets incredible.

Dad is not one to do anything half way. Cam does it up right. He decides on a sign and then decides to give a nod to sixty. Of course! But hey... let's not stop there. Sixty and sassy. Yeah, that's it. Well, wait.... if we have one "s" word, why not three? AND THIS is what my dear, amazing, well-meaning father landed on.

ARE. you. ready?

"Sixty. Sassy. Sexy. Satisfied"

I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP, okay? I can't.

Dad meant satisfied with life, etc. (It reminds me about that verse that says "to the pure, all things are pure".. warms my heart... right after it cracked it UP.) Now imagine the printer and the run-in dad had with him while paying for it. Homeboy thought dad was bragging. OMG.

So, my mother shows up to a group of middle aged women (and a couple dudes) huddled behind a sign, at the zoo, that seemed to be announcing their delight with.... life.

To say I had tears streaming down my face, while I heard about "the sign", is putting it lightly. Candace thought I was going to have a seizure. I was losing it. ONLY in the Kirker family would this happen.

I don't know if I have ever loved my mom or dad more.

Here's to 60, surprises and, well....satisfaction.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA!!!

Update: here's the banner for visual proof of hilarity. Enjoy. 
(Dad brought it to the beach to make my day... thanks, pop.)
 

8 comments:

Kari said...

that just made my day! i can only imagine your sweet mom when she saw it all. what a great family the kirkers are!

Kristi said...

That is SO awesome. And I'm going to stop there because the jokes that are flying through my head make me uncomfortable.

candace said...

really would like some photo proof of this. you were laughing way to hard not to see the evidence!

heidi said...

Oh dear Kirker family---I LOVE YOU!! I can SO envision this and your laugh, Kel, is ringing in my ears. I could be there, the vision is SO clear! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA KIRKER!!! from your co-birthday girl

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff Krazy Kirk family!! Say hi to the Camster & Momma lovebird for me.

Jesse

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff Krazy Kirk family!! Say hi to the Camster & Momma lovebird for me.

Jesse

Rebecca M. said...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Good ol' Cam. Only he COULD make this stuff up. Never stop writing Kel. You have a gift of storytelling.

Kelley said...

Can y'all even believe it?!?1

Sometimes I feel like this sort of lunacy is entrusted to me so I'll tell a story out of it. :)

Good ole Cam, indeed. hehe!