Rest in Peace?

I have to tell you- I'm a little surprised by how affected I am by the news of Heath Ledger's death earlier today.

I, strangely enough, learned of his death on the local Nashville news. I never learn things from the local news, so that was bizarre in its own right. The lack of details and circumstances almost act as a comfort. (yes... i needed comfort) I feel that when people say someone was "found in their apartment" it is only a matter of time before evidence of a suicide surfaces. It was nice to not instantly go there but to hope something else had played a part.

It makes me wonder so many things. He was a father, for pete's sake. what about Matilda? Was he lonely? Did he question his contribution to this life? I find myself wondering how many people hear the news of his death and feel guilty for envying his situation- it makes me want to find and love them.

The most haunting aspect, to me, is the fact that he was admittedly without faith. Regardless of where you come from on the faith spectrum- be it faith in Christ the Son of God or faith in the lack there of- it is impossible to not recognize a brutal finality. This life ends. Why is it always a hard reminder? of course it is my fate, but i am somehow always taken aback when death rears its head. In situations like this, there is little room for comfort because of the fact that hope is missing. As a believer in Jesus Christ i hold tight to that fact that in other death realities, there is joy. Joy for lack of pain, Joy for eternity. Joy. Here, there is a strange hollow sadness.

Now, you may be thinking, "why do you care so much?" and i don't have a good answer. All i know is that i heard the news and was utterly sad. shocked and sad. Katherine and i talked on the phone about the depth of the sadness we both felt- neither sure why it hit so hard. Perhaps we felt a kinship with this man who shares our age or because we've somewhat (inadvertently) followed his career? Maybe the simple reason his name and face are easily recognizable... who knows? The truth is that a soul has left this earth and there is a void felt by his friends, family, and fans.

Death puts life into perspective. It makes me want to hold to things that are true: Bottom line- this earth, and its temporary pain, is not my Home.