OH YEAH...

... forgot to mention this....

i find myself without a functional computer until Toshiba sends me a new AC adapter. my dysfunctional one has left me unable to use my totally functional computer. annoying, at best. that little adapter joins the ranks of my broken things: digital camera, ipod, hair straightener, ipod adapter, and phone charger. cool.

i'm told by Johnny (aka the most helpful customer service rep that toshiba has hired) that my spankin' new adapter will be here in 5 biz days. here's hoping i have a fully functional computer by Friday!

disclaimer: this blog was brought to you by the feeling "pity", the color "blue" and the word "Functional".

the first square

welp, friends....

the job got offered. but it wasn't quite right for a couple reasons. I was sure i needed to say, "thank you, but no thank you" but i couldn't quite bring myself to do it. My dear Debbie had gone to such trouble to connect me with her friend. i didn't want to just poo poo on such a kind gesture. well, i was put at ease when he said, "we have to rescend the offer after all". all in all, it was the right thing- just a funny way to end up back at square one.

thank you for the concern on my behalf. i don't have the same anxiety i had last week. don't know if thats foolish or just hopeful...

i hope its hopeful.

I am now on "mission: get hired by the 15th". if you know of anyone who can help with this mission.. please point them my direction. if it is in Nashville. i just can't give up this wonderful city yet. Thank you very much.

on a lighter, more fabulous note...

I got a hold of the email address for my beloved Jason Mesnick on people.com. thats right... i'm technically a stalker at this point. He (in case you've been under a rock) was the runner up on the most recent installment of ABC's "The Bachelorette". in a word, he is deeeeeelish. i'm basically obsessed with him (as evidenced by the earlier posts). I was obligated to send him a message including a picture of myself in the "Team Jason" shirt i made. :) he promptly replied with praises of the shirt and my organizing career. he said, "keep in touch". little does he know... i will. maybe every week. just until we're living happily ever after in kirkland, wa raising his adorable 3 year old ty. .... what?

i would like to finish by saying i am grateful for this outlet. thanks for listening, following up, etc. it really means a lot to me. sometimes, in order to write more honestly, i pretend none of you read this. it is extremely flattering that you do, thats all.

xoxo. (jason, those are for you)

light.

overwhelmed. 

i am totally overwhelmed by the love and support you all have provided me over the last few days. i really can't even express how meaningful it is to me for the way you have been praying, encouraging, and even feeding me! i am so grateful.

i have a glimmer of light on the job horizon!  i have an interview at 10 am in brentwood for a clerical pozish at a great non profit. i'll let you know how it goes!

i have had a lot of quiet over the  last two days and it has been just what the doctor ordered. i am starting to feel some warmth replace numbness. like my friend Beth just said to me, i can't wait to see what my thoughts are about this season a year from now...

really... thank you.

Time to Wake

again i have done it. i have made you wait a long time for another installment of the life and times of one kelley kirker. sorry. i have a good reason, but that's of no concern when it comes to the heartache of disappointing a faithful readership. but i shall share it nonetheless...

As some of us our Facebook (legal Internet voyeurism) friends, you may have noticed that i "said goodbye to a dream" last week. well, the truth is, it is a huge disappointment to me. I, owner and operator of Organize Nashville, must put it on the back burner for a time. It is a result of necessity. in our lovely economy, there is little room for what is considered a luxury, i suppose. that being said, yours truly has had little to no work for nearly a month now... that makes it hard to, say... buy things. like rent. so, for the sake of making an adult decision in favor of survival, i choose to hunt for a well-paying, not miserable job. sadly, it will likely have to be in the realm of secretarial (though my old boss Ben would be first to tell you this is probably not wise) but that is where all my experience lies.

If you are a praying person, would you consider praying for me? This is a time for faith in my life. a time to cling to Truth and be reminded and comforted by my God's love and provision for me... only, i am much too stressed and self-centered to see any of that right now. to be honest, this is a low point in the faith spectrum for me. just gotta be honest. fellow believers in Jesus- please pray for me. i need it and don't even know exactly what to ask you to pray for. hows that for clarity? but, thank you so much...

i had a cool experience at church last night. my church is SO FREAKING AMAZING. it is pure community. on the heels of a crazy upside down week (albeit by a pool while house sitting), i get myself to church where i listen to a sermon i can't remember much about. sure, i got some points about forgiveness and what it looks like to surrender your rights to reminding yourself of wrongs, etc. the reason i didn't catch all of it is because i was running scenarios in my mind- like a coach on the field. i was considering all possible options for how to make some specific ends meet this week. i get snapped out of it just as Craig quickly assigns a few people to pray with people in the back of the church during communion. well... he asked me. i get myself back there and feel totally humbled by the prospect of being a point person for someone who needs prayer. i mean... I NEED IT. bad. so, along side me is an old friend Ben g. (whom i actually met in Mexico four years ago...i digress). Ben asks me how I'm doing and, in classic Kelley form, i put on a happy face and say, "really good". right. really good. mmm hmm. Ben nods and then i realize... this is not the time for acting. i muster up a, "that's not true at all"... and he says, "me neither". Needless to say, we prayed for each other during that time. I'm not sure if anyone came up for be prayed for, but we sure prayed for one another and it was just a beautiful picture to me. of grace. two people who needed prayer the most, perhaps... so it was neat.

as i ramble, i guess my overwhelming thought this morning is "operation get work". no time for following a dream any longer. no time for the luxury of self employment. it is time to wake from that dream (at least for now) and get some pay! i also need to, maybe for the first time, figure out what it looks like to literally live on a few bucks this week and trust that I'm not forgotten.

Reason kamillion and four...

that i love Nashville:

the Michael Jackson cover band that played their little hearts out. in the rain. in a parking lot. to a crowd of 35 (including superfluous security).... did i mention IN the rain?

i love it, i love it, i love it!

true confessions...

my name is kelley and i am the worst telephone message returner.

the worst.

just so you know.

if your love language is a prompt return phone call, i will disappoint you. many times.

love,
me

"Three Foot Wild Card"

i don't want to talk about it.

my hopes are up.

opted for a final lily instead of a rose...

champagne...

upon hearing Deanna choose the other man...

downhearted. i'm going to call ABC everyday until i make it on the next "Bachelor" to win jason

She didn't know what was best for her. poor Jason said he has a "three foot wild card" (his son ty). i adore him. i need a drink...

True Love... at 8/7 central

There's no time to talk about all the details of the insanely fun holiday weekend.
There's no time to talk about the lovely fireworks, friends, food, and other alliterations.
There's no time to talk about floating down the Harpeth River with friends.
There's no time to talk about the amazing music i listened to all weekend.
There's no time to catch you up on all the things that have happened in the last two weeks or so.

why?

Because in only six hours, Ms. Deanna Pappas will make her much anticipated decision for true love!!!!

One heart cannot contain the excitement.

Will she choose boyish and playful Jesse who resides in his beloved "Breck" and pursues snowboarding without much of an eye for other aspirations beyond the fabulous "De"? Perhaps the magnificent Jason? mmmmmm.... Jason. Intelligent, caring, sensitive, fatherly, adventurous, romantic, and just plain yummy JASON?

I don't have to tell you how much i hope it is Jason, ladies and gentlemen.


I think Deanna gets it. i think she realizes her dreams of three kids by 30 (i mean... really? who wants that?! ok... maybe its just me. sorry mom.) as well as wanting a stable life with a loving husband can be BEST fulfilled through the delectable Jason.

My roomies and i are watching the show complete with wine and roses. We also plan to skype with June afterwards just for the wrap up.

My only concern is for next monday... when it does not come on. I've become so invested. i realize this is not the sort of thing to admit to people that i hope to impress, but i have to be congruent to the romantic i really am, my blog faithfuls.

In summation, i would like to add that if for some reason Deanna chooses Jesse and Jason is to find himself on the market and looking for someone to fill his little 'sleepless in seattle' life - i'm available and happy to rack up some southwest rapid reward miles, is all i'm sayin'.