Before I begin this post, I would like to throw out a somewhat sincere apology to any boy who identifies with any of the following caricatures. Its not you*.
I
was am a bit of a late bloomer. By that, I mean that i have never really been the girl-with-a-boyfriend type. Sure, I was the creepy 8 year old (at dinner with my parents) staring a couples on first dates at Pizza Hut. I dreamt that one day I would go to that greasy restaurant and drink a coke with a cute boy too. Later, I decided Applebees would be the dream date. I really aimed for the stars.
Tales of romance in my life read like a comedy.... an Adam Sandler comedy. Uncomfortable but entertaining. LOTS of story-worthy moments. I will limit this to just a few, for the sake of time. Keep in mind, these dates actually happened.
Let's start with Fly Boy. FB was a colossal disappointment. In all honesty, there was an epic moment in an airport wherein he said these words, (and I am not making this up)... "you're a rockstar." Just buy me a stuffed teddy bear, why don't you? Ultimately F.B. is not worth mentioning... I just wanted to start strong. Remind me to tell you the whole story one day.
Next, there's Embroidered-Sweatshirt-Guy. He took me to a basketball game that started at 6p so he thought we should eat dinner at 4p. OK. Did I mention he wore an embroidered sweatshirt? He also chair-danced to "Too Legit To Quit." No offense to MC Hammer, but I honestly thought I was getting punk'd. Also... he wore an embroidered sweatshirt.
Then, a few years ago, there was hockey guy. He took me to a Predators game on our second date and bragged about his friendship with the guy who runs the "kiss cam." Ultimately, the fact he worked for Ticketmaster was a deal breaker (modern day pirates).
There have been a couple wonderful hightlights too. Don't get me wrong. They just aren't as funny.
Lucky for me, people like Adam Sandler movies. ;)
*But it is, probably.
