orderly conduct

On bones.

2012-01-31T10:04:00.002-06:00

Hi, friends.

I sure didn't intend to disappear for nearly two months, but I didn't purpose not to either. So, there you have it. I forgot to remember. or something.

I have been reading this incredible book called "Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within." Incredible isn't actually a good enough word. Its been sort of formative for me as a writer. Now, you need to know that calling myself a writer feels like a misnomer. How can someone who writes like she speaks be a writer writer? (Well, Tina Fey blows that theory out of the water. Maybe Mindy Kaling but I haven't given her book a try yet. It just feels like "Diet Tina", but I digress.) I have the distinct privilege of meeting with three other women to discuss this book and it is, in a word, revolutionizing.

So, this book has been wildly educational as well as inspirational. It is designed to read as a manual of sorts. I have absolutely embraced her suggestions for improving the practice of writing and have, thus, spent much more time writing in a journal... with a pen. I have never had the experience, until now, of reading a chapter and finding myself so inspired that I stop reading and practice what it is I was just taught. Yes, I, Kelley Kirker, read a chapter about writing and stopped reading... to WRITE.

Something that resonates deeply in me is her notion that everyone just wants to tell their story and be known (by others and one's self.) Its so basic and so true. Let's face it, 99% of the people reading her book will never go on to be published, much less write the next great American novel. We just want our time here to count. For folks to acknowledge our lives. I have been spending time each evening scratching down my thoughts, musings, poetry, and ramblings. In the last week, there have been some ripe moments. I say ripe because it was almost as though I couldn't keep the words inside. I needed to write and experience freedom because of it. Its as though the burden or joy is too much and if I write it out (experience it in that way), I can free up. Does that sound bonkers?

I drank coffee this morning. Can you tell?

Anyway, Its been a packed year so far. I have a feeling 2012 is going to be a wild ride if January is any indication. I am surprised, grateful and curious all at the same time. I am particularly grateful for the inspiration of WDtB for the sheer outlet of it all. You may find me less of a frequent flyer here as I dedicate some serious time to filling a notebook with physical writing. Still, you are not lucky enough to be rid of me all together. ;)

I hope today is a great day for you.

love,
Kelley

on going places.

2011-12-09T15:34:00.001-06:00

Two days ago marked three months in to my 32nd year.

One quarter of the way to 33, you guys. Sure, I love number alliteration as much as the next guy, but I am not racing the calendar on next year's birthday. I never am, really. duh.

So, like most things, it has me pondering what goal I am reaching for. I don't naturally align myself with people who the world would consider are "goal oriented." Those people probably exercise regularly and wonder what to do with all the money they have systematically put aside for things other than faux fur hats at TJ Maxx. (mine rules.)

No, those folks never seemed very... "Kelley Kirker." BUT, aren't they? Because I am really only happy if I am knocking things off a to-do list or one step closer to an accomplishment. The difference between the "goal oriented" and me probably has a lot to do with the caliber of goals being accomplished. I am not hiking Kilimanjaro... I am talking, "eat healthfully for six weeks" or "buy and wear super sexy heels for the Christmas party- no changing into flip flops!" sort of stuff. Still, its not all boring. Its just a goal with training wheels, ya know?

So, since time has insisted on speeding up in the last few years, I have to keep up. I now have 3/4 of the year at my disposal and I intend to make the most of it!

I am feeling the need to reinvent my "30 to 30" tour of 2009. Maybe I do "32 while 32" ha. That way, I am giving myself more time than a month. Whatever it shapes up to be, I need to get to work. You know the scene in Elf (of course you do), when the elves have *just* finished that years' toys and Santa says it is time to get started on next year and they all cheer? Its also when baby Buddy crawls out of Santa's bag. Well, that is how I feel. I have just gotten used to 32 and here I am prepping for 33. Really, I just want to get to work doing things on purpose.

I'm going places, you guys.

I need some input on brand new challenge ideas. Do you have any to offer?

Now, to make the most of this weekend. It will bring the experience of a great day o' volunteering with HelpPortrait, babysitting a tot, another watch of "White Christmas", and spending time with friends. Can't beat it.

xo,
Kelley

Fourth.

2011-11-22T20:38:00.001-06:00

Lo, these four years later, this li'l blog is still alive and kickin'. Can you believe it?

Thanks for humoring me and giving two hoots about the musings of a distracted but lively 30-something. Heck, you've *watched* me enter the world of the 30's. I am ready for the next 4. Let's face it, by then, I may just be writing in code or braille to keep it exciting.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Love,

Kelley

on breaking news.

2011-11-13T22:36:00.001-06:00

My hair is (finally) long enough for a bun.

(!!!!!)

That's all.

xo.

On time FLYING by.

2011-11-02T11:31:00.001-05:00

Sometimes it feels like years fly by in half the time now. It makes me insane. There is too much to enjoy, experience and treasure for days to evaporate the way they do. I don't even have kids yet. I am told it kicks in to high gear then.

For example:

Nearly two years ago, this was happening:

Not just the "me having brown hair" thing. Amanda and David had just welcomed L and J... wondrous little handsome, curious creatures of joy, they are.

Now, this is happening:

HOW?

Do yourself a favor and read Amanda's post today. If only time could stop.

xo,

A Baby and a Bunny.

2011-10-31T14:26:00.001-05:00

Because I know you're eager to know what happened dress up wise, here you go:

I present Frances "Baby" Houseman:

Its a stretch. I know. I look more like a monochromatic parakeet with big hair.

Not a frizzy-haired dirty dancer.

I had to explain my outfit to everyone.

Whateves. It ruled.

For work (and children-of-coworkers coming to trick or treat), I give you:

A bunny.

No, I'm not concealing a pregnancy like Jessica Simpson... its just an unfortunate angle.

Love,

On Dress Up!

2011-10-28T11:40:00.003-05:00

Its Halloween on Monday so, in anticipation, I am attending a party on Saturday night.

I'll be going as "Baby" from Dirty Dancing... the 80's cult classic. Neveryoumind that I was strictly forbidden from actually watching it as a child but I've made up for lost time in my adulthood. (sorry, Cam and Carol.) I just get lost in the music and dancing. The motivator is the fact that the theme of the party is "infamous."

I mean, what is more infamous than Jennifer Gray's epic nose job post-production?

A Kardashian? Yes. A Kardashian is but there is not enough sunless tanner or regret to make me a Kardashian by Saturday, okay?

So, I am going to sport a prosthetic nose, a pink dress (or tank/skirt combo... depending on what TJ Maxx has for me at lunch) and some gold heels. I will also be curling/frizzing my hair like whoa. If only Baby had red hair. Eh- you win some, you lose some.

Here's hoping there's a Johnny Castle in the crowd. (May P Swayze rest.)

Here's what I don't have the body for but would have been fun:

Here's what I REALLY don't have the body for but would have been recognizable... maybe:

Here's what I'm gonna go for:

* Please don't miss the film's tagline, people. "First Dance. First Love. The time of your life." *

I will also dream of this happening because I am prone to big dreams:

Also, if I can't find pink outfit elements, I will go with the sundress, cardigan and watermelon look seen here: (quoting "I carried a watermelon...??" all night.)

I "do it all for you",

XO,
KK

2011-10-27T10:15:00.002-05:00

OK.

I am out of the habit, y'all.

Whenever I come back to blogging after a season away, I feel compelled to bring you up to speed. I mean, it hasn't been a month, but still.

I want to tell you that in the last month, I have:

- Taken to eating food that occurs in nature (as evidenced in the previous post).

- Taken to being kind to myself when I eat processed food (like that day at the cook out at work when I ate a hamburger *and* hot dog.)

- Gotten a promotion at work. I am no longer a Design Consultant for Emma... I am now the Emma Host who welcomes new clients. It is pretty thrilling to do something every day that I feel perfectly suited for.

- Booked an appointment to get my fillings replaced next week. ONLY in my adulthood would I be thrilled to get dental work while others get vacations. (who am I kidding? I still go on vacation.) Nevertheless, I'm pumped about getting mercury fillings removed and being metal free, y'all.

- Realized that from now to mid-January, I will attend 5 weddings! That does not even include the two I really wish I could attend but can't because of distance. I love love. I just do.

- Enjoyed really busy days, mostly busy nights and still manage to get some good sleep sometimes. This felt worth noting.

- Got the box set of Friday Night Lights from two dear friends I organized for. SO THRILLING. The only thing more thrilling is that they got SO into the organization of their basement and it is, honestly, a vision. Its incredibly gratifying. Seriously though, if you haven't watched FNL, you are missing out. Just ask Kristin who watched the series, in its entirety, in 2 weeks. Right, Kris?

- Had one of my oldest and dearest friends visit from Charleston with her sweet mama. It was a total blast and we explored Leiper's Fork while they were here. We also hung out with some firemen but that is an entirely different story.

- I got to NC to spend some AMAZING quality time with my college besties. It was just... amazing. I love them and they love me so well. Is there anything so sweet as that?

That feels like a good stopping point. I have so many things to be grateful for. Last night I had a great conversation with my friend Annie and we marveled at how, when you're talking with someone you love, its hard not to come back to a place of gratitude. Life can be kinda crappy at the time but there will still be an overwhelm of joy when you have someone loving remind you of the truth.

I am just grateful and happy.

xo

On (Un)Processing.

2011-10-05T23:08:00.002-05:00

For starters, I am so out of the practice of daily blogging that you'll be getting periodic updates this month. Baby steps.

So, I am only ONE more sleep away from my annual getaway weekend with my college besties. Katherine, Heidi, Julie and I get together every year and we laugh, eat and love our way through the weekend. We ask each other hard questions, pass tissues when we cry and laugh hard at and with each other. I am excited to get to the mountains and not leave elastic pants the whole weekend. Woop!

Speaking of processing, I am avoiding processed foods like the plague, y'all.

I've only eaten food that grows out of the ground or clucks around the ground... you see what I mean. Lots of ground-centric eating. OH, and LaCroix. A girl has gotta have her vices.. even if it is just bubbly water.

Yesterday I had an amazing meal of deliciousness. Just look! I had chicken, brussel sprouts, zucchini, squash, black bean & corn salad and cabbage. I wish I could eat it again and again.

I'm really loving the new habit of checking the ingredients for something other than knowing the calories. I love that I'm checking for the number of ingredients and what they are. It is just plain nice to know precisely what I'm putting in my body. Its not like this Unprocessed-ness is all that dissimilar to how I've been eating for the last few months but it sure is a focused attention to the origin of my food and I rather love it.

I'm thankful for pretty food but I'm also really grateful for the gorgeous weather. It was a little warm this morning when we went to the "ground breaking" for the new Emma digs. The sun reminded us we're having a bit of an Indian Summer. Which I love. I already miss Summer and its barely out the door. :)

I'm also grateful for legs and feet that work, super red hair, a fun weekend ahead, good music and loving friends.

Good night.

Love,
Kelley

On Accomplishing... miles and meals.

2011-10-03T22:51:00.001-05:00

Oh... was there ever riding.

Between October 1st and 2nd, I, Kelley Kirker (being of sound mind and body) rode my bicycle 114 miles. Yes, you read that correctly. I did that.

and IT RULED!

I am so proud to tell you that I did it! My legs are hating me today but I sure did it. :)

I shared some highlights with my supporters and here is what I wrote:

- I had my "brothers" with me! My brother in law, Chad, and his brother, Blake, stayed with me the entire time. (For those of you who know Chad, you know that was a gift! He could easily have zoomed through the whole course as he is an exceptional cyclist. He chose to stay with me instead and I'll never forget it.) They were both such encouragers and totally dominated that ride! We covered 114 miles together and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

- My legs took me 114 miles and I had NO vision trouble and NO numbness whatsoever!! It was just as much a mental challenge as it was a physical one. I'm so grateful!

- My team (Team Emma) were able to raise over $8,000 for MS research! I'm so proud of our tiny team of 12 for accomplishing such a feat.

- We camped and did not become popsicles... even though I thought it *may* happen. It as a cold night in Lynchburg, TN, y'all.

- The weather was pristine! We could not have asked for better weather as both days were gorgeous sunny days that never got above the mid 60s. Both days started quite chilly but we planned accordingly. (Another shout-out to Chad for the heads up!)

- Training (and the ride) made me realize how much I enjoy riding so I'll be doing a lot more of it this year! Which brings me to...

- We all signed up to do it again next year! (what have we done?!) Ha! It was such a great experience... hard but so good. I will need a few days to recover before I say I'm looking forward to it- but I am glad we "re-cycled", as they say.

Here is a shot of my team in front of an enormous inflatable whiskey bottle... of course.

So, It was an amazing challenge and I am sort of welling up with pride over having accomplished it. Now, did you think I would let time pass before immediately taking on another challenge? Pshhhh. Don't be crazy. I have joined in with a few co-worker friends who have accepted the "No Processed October" challenge. That means not eating anything that doesn't occur in nature, basically. Our rule is that if you can't make it in your kitchen- don't eat it. (There goes gummy worms.) So, the truth is, I feel best when I'm eating well and I think avoiding things that are processed will be a great accompaniment to my eating overhauls of this year. (With the exception of Jack and Back, of course. I mean, every single piece of "food" was processed. Except for the cookout on Saturday night- that was good.)

Tonight, I did my weekly food shopping and snagged only foods that occur in nature or at least have ingredients I recognize. I'm super pumped because I gravitated to foods I buy regularly and realized that most things fall into the "no processed"category. Don't worry- there was also junk on every aisle that actually looked good but I resisted!

Today's meals included a smattering of eggs, greek salad with veggies and shrimp, sushi and honey crisp apples. Madeline (at Publix) was in to the challenge. She was impressed and even agreed to let me take a picture of her. I like documenting things.

Thanks for following my adventures, you guys. This month will be full of ways I am grateful. Today's is obvious. We shall see what tomorrow shall hold. Stay tuned. :)

on Seasons

2011-09-20T23:23:00.003-05:00

Hey you- I am grateful for you.

I tend toward contemplation in the Fall and this year promises to be no exception. Interestingly, this blog has become a tool for just such an exercise. I mean, I am just as surprised as you are that this thing has lasted four years. FOUR years, you guys. (well, almost. In a couple months will be the 4 year marker.) I tend to look back at a day in my own history via my blog. Today, I indulged in September in years gone by. I find myself changed a bit. In good and bad ways, if I'm honest. I also find myself constant in some ways. (Always nice to not feel nuts every now and then.)

Just one week shy of a year ago, I started the goal of writing mostly stories here in this space. I wanted to step away from the Facebookery my blog had become and I leaned in to storytelling. Here, a year later, I feel like I still have stories to tell. I shall continue because, let's be real, I will continue to do and experience ridiculous things and I will ~~want~~ nay... need you to be a part. It just makes things funnier.

I have mentioned before that I like the idea of themes and seasons. I don't know, I guess I just like knowing what I'm working with. If you told me I had to eat only kale for a month, you better believe my mantra would become, "I can do anything for a month." Now, if it were open ended, I would laugh at you. So, I find myself a creature who loves a set time frame. (What control issues?) I think, in order to accomplish (a) a breath of fresh air for this blog and (b) an opportunity to glory in my neurosis, I will begin a year of monthly themes.

It is a little late in September to start now so I'll probably just start in October. Based upon an overwhelming acknowledgement of the good things in my life, the theme for October will be gratefulness. You will hear stories of gratitude, examples of it in my life, other people's stories and maybe even thoughts from a book or movie... I don't know. We're crazy around here.*

So, this theme thing will also be a means to get me back in the saddle. After a bit of a hiatus, I am ready and excited to get back in the groove of writing.

Good night, friends. More soon!
- Kelley

PS. I will have you fabulous people know that you helped me raise over $1,000 for the MS 150 "Jack and Back" bike ride I'll be doing in just a couple weeks. I am so thankful for your love and support!!

PPS. My hair is now reallllly red, you guys. Kristin did and I rather love it! In case you are like me rock and RSS feed and, therefore, never actually look at blogs any more, you may like to hop over and take a peek at the update I made to the old girl. Just updated my picture and the background but it switches things up nicely. Pretty soon, my friend is going to do a design for this thing and I'm pretty stoked. Stay tuned. ;)

*fine. its just me but doesn't it sound zany to say "we're crazy around here" over "I'm seriously crazy over here?" I think that point just made itself.

On "the biggest challenge yet".

2011-08-05T00:37:00.004-05:00

I have started to write this post a handful of times. I planned when I would write it, how I would write it and *if* I would write it. Each time ended in the closing of my computer and the thought of saving it for another day.

It doesn't feel safe.

But I'm going to do it. I am going to share the personal on a very public stage. (Because it seems I have an international viewership, y'all.) Before I get started, I need you to know two things:

(a) I am nervous to share this with you because I fear your response. I don't dread your response. I fear it. I fear it because I know you will all mean well when you offer advice. I know your words will come from a well-meaning heart. I am just a little fragile right now and I am not ready to hear of every story, person and experience you have to share with me. Thank you, but no, I am not ready to make connections {about it} with those beyond my people yet. I am learning that my favorite response so far is not a solution but a simple admission that it sucks. Do with that what you will, my loves.

(b) I am OK. This is a post that has been considered over and over. I am ready to share it. Be gentle.

Here goes. In February of this year, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It was a devastation but not a shock. If you have been reading for any amount of time, you know I have had on and off again struggles with eye trouble. (Specifically recurrent Optic Neuritis.) While the two years of eye woes were troublesome (and even involved an eye patch for a season), they were not reason enough for the real worry. Until, Christmas Day, I woke up with a numb left leg. After a few days of denial and confusion, I finally made myself say the words out loud to another person. I told Erin and she let me know it was time to call my neurologist. A month later, after a spinal tap, spinal headache and some serious love and support from my people, I was given a new title to add to my story- MS patient.

I have had it fairly easy, friends. As far as MS goes, I am so fortunate to have had blurred vision and numbness as my experience. I am not saying it is easy but I get that I am fortunate. With that said, I am currently battling a bout of profound numbness (yet, somehow, pain too... rude) in both feet and my left leg. It is completely frustrating to have trouble getting around and I will be glad when it passes. If I had to say one nice thing about MS, I would say it is a disease of seasons. How wonderful to know this one will pass. That is mercy.

In order to share that info with you, I must share the other half. My thoughts and truths so far:

1. I am so loved that it is scary. I actually don't know what to do about it and that makes me the most fortunate girl you know.
2. I am afraid but not despairing. There is a difference.
3. I cannot do next week yet. I can do tomorrow. It is my new mode of operation.
4. I am amazed by the amount of homeopathic solutions available.
5. I do not want to take injections for the rest of my life but I am not going to spit on progress either. I am just not ready to start them yet (and hope I never will be.)
6. MS will be part of my story but it won't be the whole story.
7. I go through emotional changes, regarding my diagnosis, rather often. One day I am empowered and the next I am just sad. I have touched down everywhere in between. This will be the case forever. If we talk about this face to face, please don't be alarmed if I laugh about it or if I cry. I wear both hats every day.

There are many more thoughts I have about this disease and the community surrounding it. I won't share it all here, though. I could spend an hour listing the people who have spoken life into my situation- breathed hope. I can't list them all. I could share all of my specific fears but I won't give in to them tonight.

So, why now? Why share this 6 months later? Well, I'm glad you asked. I am participating in a bike race the first weekend in October. It is called "Jack and Back" and will be a bike ride from Nashville to the Jack Daniels distillery in Lynchburg. I am riding with my team from work and my brother in law, Chad, is even coming to ride with us! I am looking forward to the challenge and hope I can do it well! It is 150 miles split over 2 days and will require a new wave of gumption from yours truly. I am up to it and growing more and more excited each day. If you would like to, check out my PAGE.

I have no plans to start writing about MS in this space (where we tell stories.) I am not ready for that. I just needed to let you in on my life and, even though it is scary, mom reminded me- I am not a person without Hope.

xo.

Carolism

2011-07-22T09:37:00.000-05:00

I must interrupt this story telling series for a small shout-out to Carol. This morning, while on her way to her new doctor (one of the steps of moving from North to South Carolina), she gave me a call. After a delightful chat, this happened:

me: So, I'll just give you a call tomorrow.
Carol: Oh shoot- where is that hospital. UGH- I'm a terrible person.
me: MOM!
Carol: No- I'm not. I meant to say, "I'm a terrible person with directions."
me: well, that's true.
Carol: OH GOOD- there's a helicopter. I'll follow it. Bye!
me: oh, lord.

Ain't no party like a Carol Kirker party cuz a Carol Kirker party don't stop.

On passing out.

2011-06-28T00:31:00.001-05:00

I pass out. I'm a passer- outer.

I would have said that I pass out more than the average person but it has been a while now, so I may cut myself some slack. This fun little hobby goes way back. It never been convenient. Its always involved nausea. Pretty sexy so far, huh? Trust me... I know. I will share with you the five most notable episodes in order to meet our collective laughter quota for the day. Join me.

My first adventure into the land-of-the-suddenly-unconscious happened just three days after a life changing event. Charleston had just endured Hurricane Hugo in September of 1989 and I was a 5th grader without a school to attend for a while. Carol knew how to cheer up her traumatized daughter (um... seriously. Something in me was off.) Kristin and I had gotten our ears pierced for our birthday just a few weeks earlier so it was OBviously time to change up the standard gold studs for something super awesome. Like cow earrings.

So, there I stood in mom's bathroom (super pumped about the adulthood raining down around me... I mean, Debbie Gibson wore earrings like the ones I planned to stab into my tender little lobes. It was, and I still stand by this, worth it y'all.) It was the moment of truth and mom treated the situation with the precision of the medical professional she is. She also responded to my acknowledgement of a single dot of blood with panther speed. By that, I mean she grabbed a pillow and threw it into my path just in time to soften the fall. Carol rules.... she always has. She says my eyes rolled back in my head and down I went. I distinctly remember that I couldn't hear anything and my peripheral vision went away. I also remember knowing it wasn't happening because of pain- there wasn't any. It was the anticipation of pain (you will see this become a trend.) All I wanted to do was barf everywhere but tiny angels kept it inside and the day was saved. The earrings got changed and I went back to enjoying the climbing of tree roots in the neighborhood. It is still one of the first things I think about when I think about Hurricane Hugo, which is just sad.

The next time was memorable because it was only a year later. I woke up one Saturday morning and could not open my eyes because they stung so badly. I hobbled into the bathroom to rinse them with some cold water. The next thing I remember is lying on the floor and, you guessed it, needing to barf. It still didn't happen. (Sidebar: needing to throw up is the worst part. I know that logically it is always better just get it over with and feel amazing but I think I have a fear of vomit or something. I will do whatever it takes to avoid it. Plainly.) I think this time was when I realized I was really talented at passing out. I got out of chores that day and watched Saved by the Bell while Kristin cleaned my part of the bathroom. Who do you think won that day?

There were a few not-so-notable episodes in high school but we'll jump ahead to the awesome one where they thought I was seizing. It was August in Telford, Pennsylvania and Heidi Schmidt was to become Heidi Schmidt Corbett. There were a handful of us readying the sanctuary for the service and I was carrying a riser/ platform backwards. The church pew jumped out of NO where and suddenly my hand (read: nerve) got squooshed with all the force of the huge wooden thing we were carrying. For some reason (I felt like I was watching it), I thought it wise to drop the riser and run to the other side of the church where my purse was. Naturally. The next stuff I PROMISE you I am not making up. Everyone was calling some girl named Kelley and I kept hoping she would just answer them so I could sleep. I had only been out a few seconds but I had a dream. It actually physically hurt to wake up. Everyone was flipping out and wanting to feed me animal crackers... thinking I was hypoglycemic. I managed to convince Jesse (groom) to let me fall back asleep. Supposedly, that is when I started convulsing and that's when things got awesome. They call this a "vagal response", you guys. My heart rate dropped really low and I was instantly sweating like I had just run a marathon. I promise you I had another dream the second time I fell asleep. It was weird and I was exhausted the rest of the day. The best part? No one took me to the doctor. That is what it looks like to be in college and to have an ailment. No matter- the bottom line is I walked it off like a boss.

Something very similar happened once when I was getting a mole removed a few years later (this just gets sexier.) I remember thinking it was verrrrrry quiet at the doctor's office and I was worried it would hurt. I also remember trying to say, "Uh, something is wrong. I think I may pass out or something guys." but what came out was, "I'm not, uh, very good at this. I'm not good at..... this." Turns out it doesn't translate the same. Next thing I know, I was having my first whiff of smelling salts. Gross. I was face down (moments before, I was sitting up looking forward) and there was a member of the dermatologist's office at each appendage. They thought I was dying. There was a defibrillator out. They were holding me down so I must have been convulsing. I was sweating, tired from dreaming hard, nauseous and confused. I didn't remember where I worked, I couldn't think of anyone to call. I ended up thinking of our secretary at the church and she came to get me. It was not awesome. I never went back to that doctor. Too much pride was left on the field that day.

The last that will be told today is an awesome one. I may have saved the best for last. (This is one of those times I wish I labeled anything because I feel sure I have told this story before.) I had a shady landlord in my first house in Nashville. Kristin had moved to Chicago, so I moved in with a girl. We lived in a sketch neighborhood off of a sketch road. Our landlord had someone patch a section of the ceiling once a year. Each year, it would fall. Just like clockwork. It was due to the flooding of the walled in water heater on the 2nd floor. Awesome. I came home to a kitchen full of insulation and ceiling fragments. I was home alone and it was Memorial day weekend so there was no getting someone to fix it professionally. Instead, he sent over a man he employed in his carpet warehouse. I am fairly sure had not eaten in days. He begged for breakfast while he cleaned the mess up using bike gloves. (That is the day I learned how awesome hot sauce is on eggs. Try it- you'll never go back.) Once he was done tidying up, he left the bag of debris in the walkway- a normal place for ceiling falling trash. A few weeks later (what?! I was busy), I went to move the bag in to the trash can and one swift swing of the bag later, I saw into my leg to the fat cells. There was a piece of glass in the bag, you see. Long story (a tad) shorter, my roommate took me to an urgent care joint to get 14 stitches but not before I passed out on the kitchen floor. She "went to Walgreens." I would later find out she just went outside to call her fiance and freak out over how deep my cut was. I was busy passing out, so I didn't notice. Again, all I got out was, "I'm not good at this." Couldn't I come up with a better catch phrase? Anyhow, I managed to bring my camera to the doctors so I could see my leg once it was sewn up and back to awesome. I obviously had my priorities straight. The passing out took a back seat that day but, overall, it is my most dramatic.

So far.

*wink*

I wonder if you will be there the next time I pass out? You bring the pillow. I'll bring the nausea. We'll party.

xo.

On Inspiration.

2011-06-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

I've been writing some poetry lately.

Its not fancy.
It doesn't rhyme.

In fact, I don't have any plans to show any of you. I sort of love that, really. I apologize, because that is like saying, "OH- did I tell you? No... I can't." I get it... lame.

But, Its true and I am proud of and enjoying it.

I have also been reading a lot. Not only because of books like this, this and this... but because I was given some good advice recently. It was downright inspirational. I had a mentor give me insight into my (work) personality as it is *really* similar to hers. She gave me some pointers on how to focus. She recommended, among other things, constant reading. Reading while watching something (non interesting) on the television, even. Basically, multi-tasking in order to streamline my focus. Pretty funny. Even funnier? It works.

I get inspired by challenges. Not a shocker. I am just pleased every time it happens because I never know if daring myself to do things will lose its exhilaration. It hasn't yet and that makes me happy. I've paused the whole "jump out of planes" phase and toned things down. I've been inspired to be grateful lately. I've dared myself to write down what I'm grateful for as the thought occurs to me. There is a brand new moleskine waiting to catch them. Its filling up quickly and so is my awareness of what a blessed girl I am.

I've been inspired by the app Pinterest lately. It is essentially an idea/inspiration board for the iPhone. I haven't figured out how to post anything yet but I SURE love browsing. I am not a big shopper but this app will probably change that. eep!

I have been especially inspired by jazz music of late... jazz and old R&B/soul. I cannot get enough of Otis Redding and my girl Esperanza Spaulding lately. If it is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

I have also been inspired by old photos. Mom and dad are in the process of moving (back to SC!!) and with that comes reminiscing. I love it. I think I would waste an entire day looking at old photos, so its good I'm not there.

So, while nearly a month has passed far too quickly, I have been happy. Its Summertime... what other option is there?

xo.

On things.

2011-05-20T21:43:00.001-05:00

Things.

I have things to catch you up on, y'all.

(a) I think I got bitten by a tick (or two) last week. Woof. Waiting 'til morning for the Minute Clinic to open. Its on my mind so it gets top billing, OK? Say it with me now, "no lyme, no lyme, no lyyyyyme."

(b) I got these bites in South Carolina WHERE I GOT TO HANG OUT LAST WEEK!

(c) I got ten days with my fave human and her hubs, mom, diddy, etc. It was wicked awesome. Chad graduated and dominated English at the University of South Carolina. I am beyond grateful for the time away and time to rest with my people.

(d) I think I got my tick bites when I went SKYDIVING!! You guys. It was the best experience of my life. I think. I am fairly (90%) sure that, if someone else funded it, I would do it every day. It was incredible! I got to leap out of a plane at 14,000 feet and felt like the queen of the world. Just look!

If anyone wants to go, I'm in. Seriously.

(e) I get to go see my friend Bill Harritt marry his bride, Janet, tomorrow in Memphis. Never you mind that their wedding is at 6pm which is when the world is supposed to end. Hope not. (ps. how bananas is that business? I found a website offering post-apocalyptic pet care. wow.) I'm so excited about seeing so many friends and celebrating with the Harritts. It will be amazing. :)

(f) Book club is next week and we are discussing "Hunger Games"... I am so excited! (Next month is "Bossypants" by Tina Fey, so I can't really decide which I'm more excited about.) I have more than met my challenge of reading this year and I am so thrilled about it. Any good books I shouldn't miss?

(g) The Cicada infestation of 2011 is only beginning, you guys. I hear we've not yet reached the "swarming phase", so that's neat. They have red eyes and I can't deal.

(h) I wrote a blog post for work: check it! As some of a hair chameleon, pictures of my changing 'dos were featured. Personally, I think I look like sisters... triplets. Not the same person. Is that because I share a face with someone or am I right?

Gonna go google "tick bites", so I better go. If the world ends tomorrow, I love you.

I do anyway, actually.

On awareness.

2011-05-02T13:06:00.000-05:00

I would say that, this morning, I am aware. Not like I am comatose other mornings (though some co-workers may disagree.) I only mean that this morning brought new awareness.

I was sitting on my couch last night (watching "ET", if you must know. "phone hoooome") when Kristin called and said, "did you hear? Osama Bin Laden was killed." I replied with, "For real? I'll remember this moment." I was instantly overwhelmed with emotion. I had the same emotions rush over me when I saw the images of Saddam Hussein being put to death.

Utter sadness.

Please don't misunderstand. I am a patriot. I am proud of America and prouder of people who dedicate their lives to protecting Her. I think we're a truly great country. That being said, I just can't celebrate anyone's death. I think Osama's death is what most consider a just end to a war with terror. I absolutely concede that he needed to be stopped but I am sad it had to be with death.

I'm not sad he's been stopped from doing terrible things. I'm sad because he is a man with a soul.

Yes, he made some terrible decisions but I believe in God and His Son Jesus. I also believe the Bible is true, so I believe he has to stand before God and answer for those choices and that makes me want to cry. I am much closer to tears than joy today. Regardless of what you believe, I think it is worth considering that a man has died and, as a nation, we are setting off fireworks...?

Those are controversial thoughts and I am, honestly, nervous about alienating those who don't agree. I also like to be liked. But, I'm honest with you here and this is what I'm dealing with today. I've also been the recipient of so much love that it is hard to think about people who haven't.

The next emotions in line are ones that remind me he was just one man. There are lots of people dedicated to terror (which is horrifying) and I just happen to think we're a bit *more* of a target now. I hope that isn't true. Its just feels like it may be. Fear is no way to live, so I won't give in to it. I just keep coming back to the sobering feeling that life is short and we aren't the authors of it.

Mercy.

On space food.

2011-04-04T21:55:00.000-05:00

So, by now, you know I was in the high school marching band.

Well, one of the perks was the annual out-of-town parade we would march in. Once it was the epic Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (where we marched behind the Lawrence brothers.) Kristin and I carried the banner. No biggie. Another time, we got to traipse all over Disney World for a "Magical Music Day" celebration. It ruled because we spent the entire time riding Space Mountain and about eleven and a half minutes marching in wool uniforms in south Florida. [That was the same trip where we saw Topanga and Cory shooting an Easter special a few months early. It was a BIG moment.]

Those were the days, you guys. The days where we would show up to school super early in the morning and file onto a chartered bus... well, 6 of them. That is when things got awesome. If one was a senior or one's seat partner was scrappy, one could plan to have the best seat on the bus... the last one. Now, to the untrained eye, that looks like I'm saying, 'it was super awesome to sit next to the bathroom'... puh-lease. The back seat was basically a throne (see what I did there?) for the bus prince and princess. (Because DUH- you would not be caught dead crush-less on an out of state trip. What is this? Survivor?) Upon securing the coveted spot, we would settle in for the long journey. It usually meant at least one Tom Hanks movie and gas station stops for Moon Pies.

Well, the time we went to NYC was maybe the greatest. Not only did we hit up the Big Apple... well, a lot more of Jersey... but we also spent a couple of days in our nation's capitol- Washington, DC.

I have somewhat faded memories of Washington, which should surprise you. I forget almost nothing. There is a perfectly good explanation. No, it wasn't because the hotel where we stayed was tended by gypsies who were having a seance when we arrived. (Bible- that's true.) It also wasn't because we slept in that hotel with our doors open to the elements because the heater was broken and wouldn't stop until we melted. It was because of the Smithsonian.

Now, I was never much of a history nerd as a kid. I loved the Charleston Museum for one reason and that was because they sold rock candy in the gift shop. So, upon learning we were headed to the best museums our nation has to offer, I was a little less than enthused. I thought, "wouldn't it be neater if we all rolled up our pants and went running through the reflection pond to pretend we are Forrest and Jenny?" but no. We were off to learn about things.... and I TOTALLY LOVED IT!

You guys. The Air and Space Museum was the absolute best. We walked and walked until we could walk no more. Did I tell you my mom was a chaperone on this trip? She was. So, we walked and walked. Finally, after having so much fun *and* using my brain, I decided it was time for a reward. Space food. Not just space food... space ice cream! It was Neapolitan and super weirdly incredible. Kind of tasted/felt like Christmas meringues. So, after pounding the entire package in the time it took the other girls to choose a treat, I started feeling... weird.

Weird is the only explanation. Approximately 1 hour later, I told my mom that I felt like I was on a delay. Meaning, I would lift my arm and then, a few seconds later, it felt like I lifted my arm. You get my drift. My mother (and everyone there that day) would still swear I had lost my mind. My mom even said, "um, really? You feel like you're on a delay after eating space food? Convenient." I'll tell you one thing. Its not "popular" to have an allergic reaction to Space Food moments before reboarding a diesel bus headed north. I promise you, blog friends, I felt... spacey.

It is with EXTREME joy that I will tell you what jogged these epic memories just now. I will start by sharing that one of my nearest and dearest (Hilda boo) is sick and laid up on her couch. Her companion is endless hours of 30 Rock (except when her hubs is home. Then the both of them watch it.) Tonight, I got home from work and decided that was just what I needed... some 30 Rock (as well as a delicious fish taco and glass of stale red wine.) I turned on my favorite season (four... obviously) and started smiling as episode 3 started. The following statement has neither been made up or exaggerated, y'all.

Liz ate space ice cream!!

She tells Jack she left her retainer at the museum when she took it out to eat SPACE ICE CREAM and needs him to get the retainer for her. The fact that the sentence I just wrote feels normal means that I am a little "off."

But y'all...I'm kind of freaking out. I knew I ~~identified with~~ ~~want to be~~ LOVE Liz Lemon!!

xo,
k

On fear.

2011-03-17T00:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I'll be minding my own business and fear will absolutely grip me. Like the other day when I remembered I gave my dad a skydiving adventure for Christmas this year. That seemed awesome in December. Now, May seems to be creeping closer and closer and it occurs to me... we are going to jump out of a plane. But don't worry. I was already told to wear a long sleeve shirt so my arms don't flap on the video that I will show to anyone who will watch... until the end of time. So we're good.

In all seriousness, there have been times in my life where I actually pursue the scary things. No, I don't (only) mean the time I tried cheese for my 30th birthday (but it was scary.) I'm talking about the motorcycle riding kinda stuff. Really, moving to a new town knowing only my sister was scary in a way. There's something lovely about feeling that alive, right?

Well, for your reading pleasure, I have two (potentially) humiliating stories to tell about fear... and I wish I were more embarrassed by them. In chronological order:

(1) The time I played a solo on my xylophone.

Seriously. The year was 1994 and I was a xylo novice. I was only one year in with the marching Greenwave, y'all. So, at the first game of the season (against Walterboro...sometimes my memory freaks me out) someone yelled the words that got my blood propelling through my veins. "Wipeout." Now, you need to know that Jay-the-Wonder-Senior had been the only one to play it at games before then. People would lose. their. minds. It was like we were all instantly transported to a party in the Caribbean with tiki torches. Absolute mayhem. Every band member (we were an excitable crew of 300ish) would abandon their instrument and start to cut a serious rug. Jay played "Wipeout" better than the Surfaris. Jay could handle the attention and smile and woo every girl in the process. He was a xylophone phenom. I was... a sophomore in a wool uniform in August. But I had heart. I... tried.

I remember hearing the snare drummer count off the beginning of the song with his drum sticks. Then, I vaguely remember shaking so violently from my nerves that my legs literally buckled underneath me. I didn't fall but I don't know how. I am fairly sure I got approximately 2 stanzas of the song out and then stopped playing. I pretended the drums could take it from there. It didn't work. For weeks afterward, I would daydream about playing it perfectly, cute trumpet-playing boys would wink at me and I would rise to Nerd Royalty. Instead, I took my position as "one of the twins" that had, arguably, a little too much energy at all times. I don't recall Kristin being thrilled about all of it but I could be wrong.

2. The time I met my pretend boyfriend's parents.

So, in college, I sort of dated this boy (and, by that, I mean I thought we were and he did not think we were dating.) We spent a few months hanging out so, when his folks were coming all the way from Texas to SC, it seemed only natural to meet them. Right? In the college cafeteria? Sure.

What I remember is a blur of total mind numbing anxiety... so much so that, hand to God- I actually lost my vision. I am not even joking. I couldn't hear anything anyone was saying because I could only hear my heartbeat in my ears... over meeting the parents of a boy I wasn't even dating. YOU GUYS. It was only made worse when they called me the wrong name and promptly fell in love with my roommate and, no doubt, recommended the boy date her instead. I get it though. She was/is fabulous. Don't worry, things with this boy only got much more embarrassing down the road. Shockingly, things didn't work out...weird.

I wish, when listing things I am afraid of, I had the sense to include "embarrassing myself."

I did something last night that totally scared me. I wrote a song with my friend Cliff. We rocked out a tune in 2 hours and, from what I'm told, that's pretty quick. It needs some tweaks but I'm telling you what... SO FUN! I'm not a song writer, friends. Well, I guess I can't say that anymore. Anyway, I was totally nervous and it turned out to be a great tune. We will... wait for it... be PERFORMING said song at the Emma Talent Show this year. Which means.... stay tuned for the next story of humiliation. Its not "if"... its "when."

One thing I'm not afraid of is enjoying an annual green beer (Erin Go Bragh). Or staying up late to watch Tiger Woods on Jimmy Fallon or walking up early so I can get a jump on the work day. Night night!

xo.

On celebrating.

2011-02-19T13:04:00.000-06:00

I'm not one to pass down an invitation to party, y'all. (can you hear Brittney saying that?)

If it is one thing my people and I do in Nashville is celebrate. We celebrate job promotions, birthdays, engagements, holidays, new puppies, more birthdays, weddings, good hair days, babies, Fridays.... life. Our celebrating usually consists of little more than being together and that is the beauty of it. I have had so many fun moments of happy disbelief with these people.

This week brought two opportunities for celebration: Valentine's and a birthday.

Now, you may be wondering if there is a reason why I was celebrating Valentine's and my answer is: because it is awesome. Hallmark can make up a holiday for me any day. A day I get to drop $2.99 at Walgreens on a box of Princess Valentines (that came with pencils) and give them to my co-workers? Sign me up. This year I got actual valentines in the mail. THE MAIL. To my delight, dad sent me three (guess I'm the favorite.) I'm not sure what is more fun.

Oh wait.

YES I do.

Dancing in the kitchen for three hours.

So, let me back up. I was invited to a dinner party to celebrate the most lovely of days. The girls cooked (and by that, I mean Laura and Meghan... I only chopped things.) With great music playing we all moved around the kitchen singing and gearing up for what was an AMAZING meal. (Every boy should want to marry Laura for this salmon.) We feasted on delicious food and libations. We sat around a table and laughed hysterically. We told story after story after story (you know I was in heaven.) It was simply a wonderful evening. Right around the time came for cleaning (coincidence?) the kitchen, it occurred to us that 3 girls and 3 guys cannot be wasting their time cleaning... we had a rug to cut. And that we did.... for so long that my feet still hurt the next morning.

The gents treated us to a dreamy Valentine's celebration that led squarely into Matt's birthday just a few evenings later. Well, in an effort to show off our varied partying skills, that party turned into a bit of a jam. There was a handful of stringed instruments and, much to all of our ~~surprise~~ delight, a handful of Deana Carter covers. Sure, we mixed with with Bonnie Raitt and even a sprinkling of the birthday boy's tunes. That happened on a porch with what felt like a beautiful Spring evening. (Shout out to Punxsatawney Phil, by the way. Thanks for doing us a solid!!) Here's a bit of how it went down before we headed outside where it was dark:

Listen. I'll say it. This week* has done my heart good.

love.

*and my brand new iphone that is single-handedly making (and stealing) my day. AND the gorgeous weather that seems to have taken Nashville by the hem and shaken her out to freshen things up.

On Tour Guiding.

2011-02-15T23:36:00.001-06:00

Did I ever tell you I drove a horse-drawn carriage through historic Charleston, SC the fall of 2001?

I mean, we'll never know because I am sure not spending the hours it would take to go back and label/tag all the posts of the last few years. So, now is as good a time as any to tell you all about it.

I'll start by letting you know I had just graduated college and knew I would be headed to Bolivia in January so I needed a job to keep my hyperactivity in check (that's code for Kirkers work. They don't get to freeload off their parents while wearing pajamas til 2pm and hitting the beach. At least not exclusively.) It ended up being a four month endeavor. It was chock full of life long memories, y'all.

For starters, every single morning I worked, Diddy would wake up and make me a smoothie and see me off. What a stud. Let's face it, he'd already been up for 4 hours, had gone for a walk and was "that guy" who watered the lawn as the sun came up. The Lowcountry can be brutal to attempts to keep a lawn green, in case you didn't know. So, Dad would see me off and I would drive 25 minutes to the Battery (White Point Gardens, if we're getting specific about tours. Geez.) where I would park for the day for free. Unlike the days I was running late and would pay the crazy fees to park on Market Street. Whateves, I preferred the Battery because I would get a good walk in as well as a 15 minutes convo with Kristin. It ruled.

I would arrive and get all set up with my walkie talkie (where I was super awesome at saying "10-4" so much that I would say it on the phone with friends.) I would help get our Belgian draft horses all suited up in their gear for the day and queue them up in line with the others so we could start schlepping tourists all over God's green earth. Here's the thing- giving a tour in Charleston is big business. Not only because it ~~costs~~ is worth so freaking much but because of how complicated it all is. It is a science. They leave nothing to chance and absolutely every thing is regulated. I was more proud of getting my temporary tour guide license than I was my Bachelor's Degree.

The peninsula of Charleston is so beautiful and there's a huge portion of it that is tour zone. The powers that be have it split into a series of routes. No one knows which route they'll be headed on until the moment it begins. That's because there is an old-school bingo machine (manned by the coolest ladies you'll ever meet) that randomly selects (a lottery, if you will) the route. This keeps things fair and square as well as evenly distributed. I mean, its probably hard to get to work in the morning if you're behind 8 carriages. Most companies (there are like 5, I think) use horses and one uses mules. There is seriously nothing more funny than watching a college student drive mules through a busy street.

That reminds me of Joker. He was one of our horses who was panicky. He was used to being on a farm and straight up tweaked every time he saw a white truck. Now, I may have just had bad luck EVERY single time I drove with him but for reals- he would get up on the sidewalk. I would have to (somewhat casually, so as to not spook my patrons from tipping handsomely) whip the side of him that was getting off course. (PETA- save it. I don't do it any more OK? Also, he loved me for it. He'd tell the other horses he fell down the stairs. Again.) I had to do it because 15 human lives were at stake.. INCLUDING MINE. Don't play.

Joker's brother Otis (at least I think it was Otis... go with it) once did something completely awesome. I remember every detail of this particular morning. I was wearing my brand new Danskos and was, therefore, anticipating a day of my feet not hating life whilst standing all day. So, I walked in to work and could instantly tell something was up. None of the horses were out and there was debris everywhere. During the night, Otis had staged a coup. He managed to free himself of his stall (still a mystery) and promptly knocked over the barrel of feed... so he could share. All the horses ate so much (similar to me, they don't have a "full" switch. They will continue eating until their stomachs explode, basically. Woof.) their joints got stiff from all the fiber. They were practically rigor mortis by morning. The totally best part? They horsie partied all night long because Otis managed to chew the seat off my boss's bicycle (that he micromanaged us from) and then poop on the reins. Its as if he knew they'd be leading him around in the heat all day. He wasn't having it. I have never been more proud of an animal.

Every day, I dropped cheezy tip-inducing/ guilt churning lines to make dollars. I'm not totally proud but mama had to make it worth her time, OK? I had no shame.

I could, honestly, tell you one hundred more stories about being a tour guide. (Like the experience of listening to the tragedy of 9/11 unfold while working or the time the last living, original cast member of "Gone With the Wind" served us cookies.) Let's do that in Charleston. I'll show you around the city. I'm still amazed how much I have retained. Chelsea was wow-ed and we both grew up there, so that has to count for something.

Sometimes, I feel my heart drawing me back to that beautiful port city. THANK GOODNESS Southwest will start flying directly there from Nashville next month.

It. Is. On.

I will say this- I have no career in tour guiding in my future but I am wildly glad I did it during that funny season of post-graduate...ness. It was incredible and has provided me with a lifetime of fodder for my favorite things... stories.

xo,
k

By the by...

2011-02-07T16:00:00.000-06:00

... I totally drink sodas again.

I made it a month, though, right? Well, almost a month.

I HAD TO.

ok?

xo,
me

ps. stories galore coming your way.

on care.

2011-01-30T18:12:00.001-06:00

This will seem incredibly cryptic and, for that, I am sorry. Just believe me when I say that, this weekend, I am exceedingly grateful for:

- friends (seems not nearly significant enough a word as it just sits here. still...)
- family.
- mid 60 degree weather (as if a necessary foreshadow of Spring!)
- The Social Network (and all movies, really.)
- iced strawberry pop tarts
- tulips
- a timely catch up phone call
- a great book.

AND CAFFEINE.

I am a uncomfortable care-receiver. These friends have refused that and met my need head on. I am, simply, grateful.

xo,
k

* I will expound later, lovelies. I assure you.

creature comforts from my sunday.

2011-01-24T14:01:00.001-06:00

ok- in fairness, this was from Thursday night dinner. Katie and Beth made me the most delicious feast and this was part of it. Grapefruit, lime and avocado salad. Hallelujah and amen.

Trader Joes hooked a girl up with some grapefruits. They make me happy in that blue bowl .

Tell me how I can wake up in a bad mood if there's a tiny yellow rose bush bidding me good morning.

Seemingly out-of-season hydrangeas, good books and a telephone that connects me to my sister. CHECK!

Alright, week. Do your best. I'm rested and ready for you.

xo,

**my apologies for the horrendous lighting. I need to figure out a way for the "no flash" to be flooded with a little more light. Gonna play with the Lumix tonight and figure it out. **

Guest blogger

2011-01-20T09:58:00.000-06:00

So, last night I sat on my couch. I was surrounded by some fun(ny) friends and said, "what should I blog about?" One friend decided he would blog for me. There is no explanation. I just have to let you read it. It is unedited and here you have it. Ladies and gentlemen... Adam Duncan:

Ok, peeps. I totally preesh having a guest blog on my blog. For the first time ever, I have invited a dear friend to blog on my behalf. He has a list of things that people shouldn't like, and he is going to blog that list with us. His name is Adam Duncan...he is totally into guest blogging because he doesn't have a blog of his own...and the square root of 69 is 8 something.

Please, don't like these things:

1.) Chewing with your mouth open. Its kinna gross and makes funny noises.

2.) Introducing yourself to someone...for the fifth time. Please, just fake it.

3.) Timid drivers...especially the ones that come to a complete stop on the entrance ramp to the interstate.

4.) Abbrevs.

Ok, I'm changing this list up a bit. Its going to be finished with things a depressed doctor may say to himself while trying to fall asleep at night.

5.) "Does my occupation fulfill me?"

6.) "Do I really help people?"

7.) "If I died tonight, would anybody notice?" (answer: yes, tons of people would notice)

Sorry...I need to make another change of direction with this thing. The list will (seriously) be finished up with "Phrases that tickle the eardrum".

8.) The eel eerily trickled down the slithery slide to fulfill his destiny of laying waste to the Far East.

9.) Thirty Helens agree: Jiggle it a little it'll open.

10.) Skin falls and babies crawl or felines eat the cheese.

Thank you for your time. Preesh.

Kelley and Adam

Thirty Helens, huh? Love it. :)

Guest blogger-ship may be the way to go. Now, I just have to get Jackie to write the next one.

Have a great Thursday, y'all!

a small veer.

2011-01-18T15:06:00.001-06:00

I kind of miss just telling you things. However strange and disjointed. I love telling stories but, let's face it, sometimes I want to tell you the regular stuff.

Like:

That I had really delicious sushi from Harris Teeter last night. Like, notably good.
That I went back on my principles and WATCHED AN HOUR OF THE BACHELOR*
That I have some really great friends that feel like family.
That I got to teach my co-workers a seminar on de-cluttering and it was incredibly fun!
That I have been reading, y'all! (1.5 books down... so, not quite the 1 a week I hoped for but a LOT better than before.)
That I am going on two legit vacations this year! (any moms out there have full clearance to roll your eyes at the notion of a vacation from work only... but hey, I'm pumped! For the first year in a WHILE, I am taking trips instead of just doing wedding tours of the USA.)
That I have the sweetest sister the world has ever known. Trust me.
That good things happening to my family members can get me through a long winter.
That school-aged Nashville children had yet to go to school this year, basically, until today. Mothers everywhere spewed non fat/ sugar free chai lattes in every Starbucks in Davidson County BECAUSE THEY COULD. No more snow to keep those kiddos at home for another minute.

I will bring a story to you soon. Cooking up a few.

kisses,
Kelley

*I didn't set out to do it. It was more like "I'm at my friends' house and its on and I'm totally interested because I remember this dill weed the first time around. PLUS THERE ARE FANGS involved. I didn't watch the whole thing but I have a feeling I will next week. GREAT. I have only one thought... is Seal's appearance on last night's episode the musical equivalent of the "Hawaii Trip" for sitcoms that are fading?

On temperance.

2011-01-03T21:53:00.000-06:00

I did it.

I dared myself to go the year of 2010 without alcohol and I did it.

Seriously, when I am totally honest, I want to be known as someone who does what she says she'll do. That really may be what this was all about. I can't remember a time I stuck to a New Years Resolution before. But seriously, 2009's goal was to "kiss more", so I think I went for "more challenge" and "less fun"... worth it.

Let's recap by visiting some of the "Frequently Asked Questions" of my adventure:

1. Why did you do that?
I spent a lot of time in the car at Christmas time of 2009 with a broken ipod. I started thinking about things I could dare myself to do- the harder the better. It was down to a few tough ones and it won.

2. Was it terrible?
Hardly. January and December were the longest but it was not hard. I don't know if I just became possessed with wanting it or what. Seriously, I stopped thinking about it and it was no biggie. Sure, I missed a lot of social events but I can't think of them now. The year flew by like a breath.

3. But, didn't you go to, like, a bajillion weddings?
I did. Last year was only rivaled by 2007. I love weddings and I love celebrating dear ones. Here's the thing... I'm just as much of a spaz with or without alcohol, y'all.

4. Are you going to drink now?
Yes. I had a drink with Anna and Jordan at Patterson House to celebrate. It is a great speakeasy that opened over a year ago- I just never bothered to go. Obviously. So, it was fun to go enjoy the ambiance and congratulate myself for a year of discipline.

5. What were the health benefits?
Well, none that I can tell. There likely were some. Still, I don't know what they are. I didn't lose weight- I actually gained. Turns out, if you eat while people drink, it will catch up with you. Weird.

6. Did you save tons of money?
I am sure I did. I don't know exactly how much but I know I did. I ended up having to treat myself to some medical stuffs, so I don't have a total. Just trust me. It rules.

7. What's next?
No Soda in 2011. I predict this will be harder. But I will say... I am three days in and haven't been tempted yet, so maybe it will be easier than I think. Fingers crossed.

So, I basically learned that I am a beast when I set my mind to something. I feel quite sure it was a training season for me. I sense that I will be drawing on that accomplishment/dedication in the future. Here's to another year of stretching myself... be it blind dates or skydiving, organic eating or learning to samba. I am up to it. Just watch me.

What are you going to try?

xo,
Kelley

On transport.

2010-12-23T15:22:00.000-06:00

We were the envy of 90% of the male population of Summerville High School.

It was just days before turning the big 1-6 and one P. Cameron Kirker introduced a cranberry colored 1986 Toyota Supra to our driveway on Savannah Round. You might have thought it was the second coming based on the shrieks of joy.

Pure joy.

Most males were incapable of walking past our whip without commenting on what a sweet whip it was. It even had a removable roof, did I tell you that? Don't go confusing it for a convertible because that makes it sound like it was an easy process. It required unscrewing four screws that held it firmly in place. Then, we would have to each get on a side and carefully place it in the "holder" in the trunk. If you were alone and beach-bound... you were outta luck. It was a 2 person job at best. That same roof would go on to leak every time it rained, but WHO cared? It was our very own set of badass wheels.

Once, dad threatened to take back ownership of this lovely vessel-for-freedom. It was based on one thing. He said if we ever got so much as a warning from a cop, it was his. HIS. It always was, but this was a bigger deal. It meant we got his vehicle. Y'all, he drove the Silver Bullet aka the Babe Magnet.

It was an 86 Toyota van....

that closely resembled a dust buster.

I found it hilarious. Kristin did not. This was enough of a dynamic to keep up both on our best behavior. We never did get a ticket or a warning. Can you believe it? Me neither.

So, later, I would go on to use the Bullet in college. It built my character. Then, I used mom's brown Camry station wagon. I loved it. Even though I drove it in to the garage once. (In my defense, that garage came out of NO where.)

I feel sure I've told this story before, but its worth mentioning again. In college, my dad came to visit and took me to dinner. He asked, "so, if you had your dream car, what would it look like?" I quickly answered, "I don't know- a neutral color... a sedan... a SUN ROOF." He paused... and said, "well, you now have a beige Toyota Camry with a sun roof." That restaurant (Rising High in Columbia's 5-points) has never heard such noises. I started screaming. And jumping. And screaming. And hugging. And screaming.

I loved that vehicle so. I even climbed in its passenger side door for 6 months when both driver side door handles broke off. Later that year, I would single-handedly dismantle my car door and replace both handles with the ones I purchased for pennies on Ebay. I will, forever, be pretty dang thrilled about that accomplishment.

That faithful Camry went on to be Kristin's when she returned from her 2 years in Chicago and still lives in Columbia at the Rochester Manor. Not for long, I have a feeling. She's old. She's tired.

I have my mom's old beige Toyota Camry with a Sunroof. One year newer than my old one. OH how I love this car. I have had a few opportunities to upgrade and leave her behind but I just can't. We're friends. She makes a weird sound, I get her looked at. She makes noises that are old-age and I pretend I haven't heard a thing... like when an elderly person passes gas. It didn't happen.

I'm about to hop in my little chariot and head toward the East. I'm homeward bound to celebrate Christmas with Mom, Dad, Kristin, Chad, Aunt DeeDee, Uncle Bill, Basil and Izzy. We will eat, we will bask in loveliness, we will enjoy snow, we will sing. we will laugh.

What is better?

A most LOVELY Christmas to you.

love, Kelley

On Europe.

2010-12-08T23:00:00.000-06:00

ALL of Europe.

Just kidding.

This week, exactly six years ago, I embarked on a journey that I suspected would burn its way into my memories. Still, I am surprised by how vividly I recall the details of my European adventure these six years later. Fortunately, I kept a detailed journal (complete with details on every photo taken so that I'd remember. Way to go, 25 year old me!) in order to fill in the blanks.

I was sitting at the intersection of 21st and Blair this Monday morning and I had a burst of recollection from Italy.

We had just driven in to Milan and sat in traffic for hours. Two commuter trains had collided that day and the city was at an absolute stand still. By the time we reached the heart of Milan(o), night had long since fallen. We kept with the plan of visiting a gorgeous cathedral, nevertheless.

{For the record, I saw more churches and cathedrals than anything else while in (what felt like) the whole of Western Europe. Let me just say- amazing. The most remote little church on top of a hill in Innsbruck, Austria has more art and history than the oldest one in the US.}

So, back to Milan. We all stagger out of the charter bus where we had enjoyed our assigned seats for the handful of hours. None of us knew what we were there to see or why. We were just grateful for the break from bus fumes and the chance to move our legs. Well, all of a sudden there was a flood of the most beautiful (booming) version of Ave Maria that I have ever heard (to date.) As we turned the corner, I could see a really beautiful sort of slide show being projected on the side of this massive cathedral. Unexpected. It was of art and faces and just... beauty. Somehow the art and music combined with the electric thrill of finally setting foot in Italy was just moving.

The whole 3 week trip would prove to be an incredibly powerful and wonderful adventure. Some of it just for me to remember and most of it for me to continue remembering out loud as the memories come flooding back at this time each year. I cannot recommend a Euro Christmas adventure highly enough to you.

So, as I sat at that familiar intersection, I pushed play on my ipod. It picked up right where it left off the night before. Josh Groban belting out Ave Maria. It just felt right.

xo.

old habits...

2010-12-07T11:26:00.001-06:00

...die hard. I can't always write stories, ok? (though, I have a great one cookin' for later this week.)

I just HAVE to share silly updates with you sometimes.

Have you ever seen such a perfect orange?

Didn't think so.

Also, I'm going to get to see Garth Brooks* next week. With Hilda and Naters.

That is all.

xo.

*its worth noting that I was less than eager to attend at first. But then homey went and sold out 9 shows... and people from neighboring states are coming. I started to think it may be something kinda epic. If nothing else, I'll be with some besties. And drunk cowboys. Everybody wins.

Snow.

2010-12-06T10:50:00.002-06:00

Its just a snowy Monday morning in the Music City. There are lovely Christmas tunes making their way overhead and a lovely smell of fresh coffee. The office is buzzing with activity and stories of weekend adventures. There's even a lil squirrel intent on enjoying a hard-earned acorn atop a cold metal pole. I have to hand it to him... he's really cute and really determined.

Happy Monday, friends. Its good here... hope its good there for you.

xo.

On exercise.

2010-12-01T00:33:00.000-06:00

I do not naturally like to exercise. Obviously, or I would do more of it.

It hasn't always been that way, friends. There have been seasons of fitness here and there. The kind of fitness that you reach by systematically hitting the ole gym every day. The most fit I've ever been has to be one of two times. Its either when I was 15 and spent an entire summer digging holes for a septic tank in Honduras or just a few years ago when I did many a sprint-triathlon here in Nashville. The Honduran digging was not all we did, by the by. We also painted, roofed, cleaned, hiked with water, used machetes to clear land and dug some more. Without a mirror and/or any normalcy, I failed to realize I'd shed 20-something pounds over the course of 2 months. It was like accidental fat camp. It ruled. I came home, from 2 months away, looking like a trim version of myself. Kristin did not love that development. I was all, "oh my gosh- its so weird. I accidentally wear 3 sizes smaller now, isn't that crazy?" and she was all, "why do we have to share a face?". That phase didn't last long... the weight loss or the twin-gression.

Anyhow, the 2 triathlon seasons I participated in were a bit more planned. It was hard but i got this body ready to run, bike and swim my way to a better me. At the time, I rather loved it. All in all, I finished 7 sprint tri's and 1 olympic (which was my favorite.) It feels like a long 3 years ago. Want to know why I quit? I got bored of swimming and it was a swim-based triathlon club. That and that, while it was a great community of athletes, it was a very isolating and individualized sport. Too much time to just hear myself think. Thus... I quit. Still, what good memories!

Exercise has to be heavy on the social in order to get me interested. If I could figure out how to make watching 30 Rock aerobic, I would do it, trust me. In the mean time, I have to do real work outs and inject some friend time in order to keep me coming back. Enter Coco. {You may remember that just three short years ago, Courtney/"coco" convinced me to start this little blog. Happy Anniversary, dearest}. Courtney and I have now clocked 2 full months of pre-dawn work outs together. We also answer to "Team Bedhead" and have been known to occasionally include one Holly Edwards. Lately, we've taken to the humiliation of a sculpt class. Here's a question, should I be sore 5 days later? Just checking.

As I look back at the variety of activities I have taken to, it makes me laugh. I really have branched out, ya know. There was the hip hop dance class, hula hooping/ "hooping", loooooooong walks, a short stint doing a "pole dance" class that was really more like yoga (are you shocked?), yoga, bootcamp, "Body for Life" weight lifting, half marathons training, cycling, swimming, bowling (Emma league) and kickball. Plainly, I like to keep things exciting.

I'm feeling like I'm sort of in the mood for a new athletic goal to reach. I always love a challenge (speaking of...30 more days and I'll officially have gone 2010 without alcohol. Crazy, huh? I'm almost done! Time flies.) The funny thing is how often I have considered taking ball room dancing classes. Selfishly, I want to learn with one guy instead of a new partner every week, so I've never done it. Perhaps that will be it- a regular Bristol Palin ova hee. Nevertheless, I'm taking suggestions, so pass them on if you like.

Happy sweating,
K

ps. my stomach just growled for the first time in probably 3 weeks. All this talk of exercise has be craving popcorn.

brussels

2010-11-17T07:04:00.001-06:00

ok... allow me one break from story time.

Y'all.

I made brussel sprouts (or at least roasted them) last night and it was amazing. I'm not really an "eat brussel sprouts" kinda girl, so this is a big deal. Bigger, still, was the specific hankering I had for them as I drove home from work in the cold rain. Now that is a craving.

check it out!

YUM!

xo,

on dates.

2010-11-16T00:37:00.001-06:00

Before I begin this post, I would like to throw out a somewhat sincere apology to any boy who identifies with any of the following caricatures. Its not you*.

I ~~was~~ am a bit of a late bloomer. By that, I mean that i have never really been the girl-with-a-boyfriend type. Sure, I was the creepy 8 year old (at dinner with my parents) staring a couples on first dates at Pizza Hut. I dreamt that one day I would go to that greasy restaurant and drink a coke with a cute boy too. Later, I decided Applebees would be the dream date. I really aimed for the stars.

Tales of romance in my life read like a comedy.... an Adam Sandler comedy. Uncomfortable but entertaining. LOTS of story-worthy moments. I will limit this to just a few, for the sake of time. Keep in mind, these dates actually happened.

Let's start with Fly Boy. FB was a colossal disappointment. In all honesty, there was an epic moment in an airport wherein he said these words, (and I am not making this up)... "you're a rockstar." Just buy me a stuffed teddy bear, why don't you? Ultimately F.B. is not worth mentioning... I just wanted to start strong. Remind me to tell you the whole story one day.

Next, there's Embroidered-Sweatshirt-Guy. He took me to a basketball game that started at 6p so he thought we should eat dinner at 4p. OK. Did I mention he wore an embroidered sweatshirt? He also chair-danced to "Too Legit To Quit." No offense to MC Hammer, but I honestly thought I was getting punk'd. Also... he wore an embroidered sweatshirt.

Then, a few years ago, there was hockey guy. He took me to a Predators game on our second date and bragged about his friendship with the guy who runs the "kiss cam." Ultimately, the fact he worked for Ticketmaster was a deal breaker (modern day pirates).

There have been a couple wonderful hightlights too. Don't get me wrong. They just aren't as funny.

Lucky for me, people like Adam Sandler movies. ;)

*But it is, probably.

on babies.

2010-10-27T17:54:00.000-05:00

I started babysitting at 9.

I fully realize that 9 is a young age for babysitting. I couldn't drive, so it involved walking next door to play with the kids... while their mother was home. It was a pretty big deal. Not because I was such a good baby sitter (side note: can it be called that when you're only 4/5 years older?), but because I made dolla dolla bills, y'all. It was the first time I was able to earn money outside of my allowance. It was way more fun to play with kids and watch movies than clean and do my chores. I would nearly shake with joy when the Outlaws (swear that was their name) would shell out the $15 dollars or whatever it was. I think I started making $.25 an hour at first. No exaggeration. As I got older, I was able to babysit on Friday and Saturday nights for the big bucks. I would probably have done it for free, but being a wage earner was exhilarating.

At some point, I realized babysitting made a lot of sense. I could make the same amount hanging out with kids as I could slinging reubens at a "The Turtle Deli." It became the obvious choice. Where else could I eat chips and play until the kids went to sleep and then watch Saturday Night Live? (confession: I used to fall asleep watching SNL and they would come home to me asleep on the couch with Baywatch blaring.)

Most people stop babysitting in college. I didn't. I haven't.

Its not even that I love kids so much. I just have a general tolerance of most kids and happen to ADORE a few of them. For example, I will jump at an opportunity to hang out with Emma and Martha- Nashville's coolest girls under 4 feet. We go on dates. We are not scared to hit up a movie. Somehow, I get paid to do so. There are no words for how cute they are, so a picture will have to do. This is last Halloween. (Emma was a bee, Martha was an old lady and I was Kelly Kapowski).

Tell me how anyone could resist these two? I love them so.

Now, life has transitioned from being offered the opportunity to watch someone's child(ren) to being surrounded by babies who actually belong to my nears and dears. It still gets me that I'm at the age where my peers are more frequently birthing offspring than getting married. It never stops being exciting.

I won't list the babies that melt my heart because I am sure to leave one off the list, by mistake. So, rest assured, if you are reading this- its your child (or children, Amanda). I am not sure what is sweeter than a baby smiling up at me for no other reason than I have made just enough of a fool of myself. I particularly love the babies that don't give away their affections. You know- the ones that make you work for it.

I got to spend last weekend with my college best girlfriends. There's just no way to describe how sweet that time is every year. I have mentioned it before, but it bears retelling. Each Fall, we gather in a city (either one we live in or we throw a dart at a map... like that time we ended up in San Antonio.) and spend time together. We cover three questions that allow us to assess our past year and dream for the coming one. Its amazing what a fixture in my year it is. This year, er'rybody's baby came along. That's because there were 2 under one year old. It was lovely to get to know Ryland and Olivia and snug up with Kate and Pete. We snuck in some full conversations and stole moments for the rest of them. I got (arguably too much) joy from trying to teach Ryland to clap. If I'm honest, I do love the quiet bliss of lying around like last year in Palm Desert but what I love more is walking through life with these women. Real life. Life with kids, losses, victories, joy and pain. We are sisters.

babies, represent!

I would like to end by saying that the sooner I am an aunt, the better. But don't tell Kristin and Chad.

xo,

On clowns.

2010-10-18T12:55:00.000-05:00

You guys.

I hate them. I always have, so at least I'm consistent.

As a tot, I called them "funny faces" and would usually take to climbing whatever parent was holding me if things went terribly wrong and we came close to one. They thought it was funny, I'm sure. I mean, who doesn't love a clown? ME. That's who.

Over the weekend, Anna and Nathan got hitched. It was, honestly, perfect. The service was wonderful and so very them. The same goes for the rehearsal dinner and reception. It was meaningful and special- every detail considered. We got to shower some blessings on them. Its hard not to. They're exceptional. Some of the most beautiful music ever. We have really talented friends who just knocked it out of the park (I am looking at you, Annie Heyward, Neal Carpenter and Brett Taylor!). Suffice it to say, it was lovely and I was honored to play a part. I got to read Romans 12:9-18 and it was awesome. I didn't even do the voice waver-y thing when you are so nervous it sounds like you're about to cry. My voice behaved swimmingly and I even remembered to speak a bit higher. (I read an article that maintained people are more comfortable when women speak with higher voices. Who knows if its true? Anyhow, it rocked.) MORE importantly, that scripture covers the bases on Christian living. I was inspired and reminded of some sweet goodness. "Let love be genuine," indeed.

There was dancing. There was an awesome band (side note: I totally sang back up vocals... a lifelong dream... to "Midnight Train to Georgia" with them and it ruled). There was cake. WAS there ever cake. Oh man. Erin (the world's most incredible friend/ Bible study leader/ truth speaker/ nurse educator/fun maker/ CAKE magician) whipped up a little three layer fudgey cake with chocolate mousse in between and topped with a white chocolate butter cream frosting. But who can remember the details? It was nothing shy of deelish.

So, I haven't even gotten to the clown.

If you know Chattanooga, you know there are so many amazing day time options of escapades. An outdoorsmen's dream. If you are dressed up with ten friends and wanting to have a little wedding after-party, you may have some trouble finding a spot. You may also land at Applebees (albeit against your better judgment). You may also order the chicken won ton tacos and a Shirley Temple but that is beside the point.

A dude wanders into said Applebees. He is a bit prematurely dressed up for Halloween. He is a creepy clown. I wouldn't know. That is because I couldn't muster the nerve to turn around and glance his way after hearing friends say, "eeeeesh, that is one creepy clown mask." The rest is a blur. I heard a combination of squeals and FELT HIS BREATH on my neck. Some sort of survivor mechanism kicked WAY in to gear and yours truly started propelling through the air. The only two things that did not cooperate with my escape route were my two trapped cowboy boots. In about .4 seconds, I found myself face first on the crusty Applebee's floor. Dress around my waist. Lingering horror on my face. As soon as it went down, the guy tore off the mask and began profusely apologizing. Poor lug. He just wanted to pass out fliers for a Fright Fest of sorts. I had to go and look like I was rocking a seizure.

In closing, I would like to say that I have now proven I will do whatever it takes to get away from a clown. OK?

Don't. Mess. With. Me.

But *do* surround me with friends, love and goodness. That I'll take again and again.

xo

Concerts.

2010-10-11T10:39:00.002-05:00

My first concert was to see Carmen live at the King Street Palace in Charleston, SC. I am tempted to say neither exists any more but I must report that I think Carmen still may. If I'm honest, I am jealous of the kids whose first concert was New Kids on the Block or something incredible like Hall and Oates.

Over the years, seeing live shows would become a priority to me. Maybe seeing Skynyrd that time in the parking lot of a Ladson, SC carnival did it. Who knows? Sure am glad Dad decided it was worth packing Kristin and me up to go soak in the glory.

Growing up in Charleston gave me great exposure to international musicians. One of my favorite memories is the time our group of friends all packed in to the old jazz club (Chef and Clef) on Market Street during Piccolo Spoleto event. We must have stood out like a sore thumb with our tank tops and jean shorts. The next younger patron must have been 15 years older than us. Still, we had a BLAST and dreamt of when we'd go there on very perfect dates and drink in the lovely jazz music all night long.

College would bring an onslaught of singer songwriter (read: maybe-shouldn't-sing... maybe-shouldn't write....ers) shows. You know, the coffee shop vibe. We'd make our way to Jammin Java or some place and endure the cute boys on stage. Occasionally, someone incredible would swing through town and we'd clamor for seats to hear Angie Aparo sing his lovely tunes. Those sorts of folks were a rarity.

And then I moved to Nashville.

Really, that's where this story could end. How could I list all the musical heroes I've enjoyed as they made their way through town? It would be sort of impossible to remember. I do recall being a resident of just under a week and determined to not miss a second of the scene Kristin and I headed over to 3rd and Lindsley to take in a showcase. Little did I know, those sorts of evenings happen *most* days here in the Music City. In fact, I will go as far to say that you will probably have to work harder to avoid good music than to find it here.

In my adulthood, I have experienced a few shows that just plain woke up my senses and left me alive with wonder. The first must be seeing U2 perform in Atlanta in the Fall of 2001. It was the day George Harrison died and we were not only treated to the goodness of the Elevation tour, but also the beauty of George's tunes. It was a once-in-a-lifetime sort of evening.

Next, I would be remiss if I left out any of the Patty Griffin shows I've taken in. I don't miss her when she comes to town. She makes me connect to her music so much that I start thinking I can write too. So, I suppose that makes her an inspiration, huh? She is.

Jamie Cullum. That little Brit is such a showman! He brought so much charisma to the stage that I was exhausted afterwards. He jumps around and sings his heart out. All so well! I also try not to miss seeing him. He goes way beyond a pretty voice. Its an experience to be lost in for a couple of hours.

Sure, I LOVED seeing John Mayer and Tom Petty this year. And this past Friday, I saw the lovely Sara Bareilles at the Ryman. She has such a presence on stage that I got the feeling we could be best friends.

But, y'all.

BRANDI CARLISLE. When it comes to a voice so strong that you think the building can't contain it, this girl takes the cake. I barely spoke the whole time. I was plain old moved by her vocal stylings.

There will, no doubt, be other shows that I am moved by. I love music for that reason. I feel sure I've done this before, but how can I not quote "Almost Famous" when proclaiming my love for the written word and melody? I just love the quote at the end when William asks Russell what he loves about music and his response is, "well, to start with... everything".

well put, Russell. Here's to music and the wonder it stirs up.

On childhood pastimes.

2010-10-06T22:40:00.000-05:00

We weren't your average sport-playing kids.

In fact, the closest I got to a sport was taking "ballet, tap and jazz" at the Summerville Dance Company. (I joined because I wanted to be a ballerina- like every other red blooded American 8 year old girl. I was going to be a famous ballerina who ate pizza all day every day. What could have been better?). Many years later, I would try to prove every skeptic wrong and, thus, I would join the "Lil Rebels" as a superfluous softball player. But really... I would step up to the plate an the other team would yell, "get ready, y'all. easy out... easy out." Bottom line- I was not what you (or anyone) would consider a "natural athlete."

So, that leaves (childhood me) a lot of time to find something to do.

I would like to go on record as saying I am SO grateful to have had Kristin. Its hard to imagine what my youth would have looked like without a twin/ co-conspirator. How would I have survived summertime, swim lessons (where I first tried a boiled peanut and was sure the nice lifeguard had accidentally dropped it in the pool), school in general, piano lessons, and everything else.

We were notorious for playing "store". That's when my dresser became the check-out station. Is it strange that my dream career was a Kroger check out girl? Oh, 2nd grade self, you were aiming for the stars.

I have to say, my mom did a great job of not letting us just sit around and be bored. In fact, if we pretended to say we were bored, it was usually met with, "why not read a book or write a nice letter to a friend". TO this day, I don't know why the letter got to be "nice". How does she know I didn't write letters letting my 8 year old friends how bored I was? Unfortunately, it also had me associating reading with boredom or, worse, punishment. A real Renaissance child.

All joking aside, the way to a Kirker girls' heart (or attention, at least) was to request a play or dance routine of some sort. We were suckers for the spotlight, people. It didn't matter if it was mom holding two flashlights. I couldn't get enough. Sometimes I wish the Kirker family had owned a camcorder before 1992 and then somehow lost it for the years after those that have video proof. They were not kind years.

You want the names of the characters Kristin and I had recurring roles playing in our living room?

You won't believe me.

"Grandmother Archie" (I don't pretend to know) ... Kristin
and her "Pet Rat Billy" (Its not nice to laugh that hard) ... Me.

I willingly played along every time. Like I was going to make a grandmother mad.

In summation, I would like to point out that most of the above information served to teach me humility at a young age. *and it continues on.

But you should see my shuffle-ball-change.

carol.

2010-10-04T15:25:00.000-05:00

I can't just cold turkey walk away from quoting my mother, ok?

This. just. happened.

carol: Hey bunny... (stuff about marching in an Italian parade with Pat over the weekend), I saw a guy doing an impression of a cricket and it reminded me of you.

There are more questions than answers.

There's not enough time to ask why the man was impersonating a cricket, in fact.

Mom... I can't quit you.

This one time...

2010-10-01T22:51:00.001-05:00

I played xylophone in the marching band for four years.

Now, mind you, there was no marching involved. So, if you're keeping track, I was a joke even to the band nerds. As far as the totem pole of date-ability goes, I was wiping the dust off the bottom of it, ok? Technically, our section was called "the pit". Oh, I'm sorry... didn't I mention Kristin and I did this together? Twin, brace-faced (well, she was), eager, ~~obnoxious~~ friendly, xylophone playing nerds rocking the side lines of a football field day in and day out.

There was such a system to it. For starters, one had to audition (my first experience in the world of self promotion) for the honor of being part of the marching Greenwave band. Again... I'm sorry. That was our mascot. We were a big deal in coastal South Carolina, people. Made famous by our football coach, John McKissick. (My freshman year he broke the record with 406 wins and this article was written. Rumor has it, he was going to be the cover story but Michael Jordan came out of retirement and snagged the cover. The luck.) So, to say that Friday nights were electric with school spirit is a huge understatement. I think it is the reason I love the show Friday Night Lights so much- its nostalgic.

Back to the band. Our fear-inducing leader was a man named Marty Lyles. In my 13 year old estimation, he could have scared Stalin. The man ran a tight ship... well, he probably had to. There were something like 250 of us. You know the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus" where Richard Dreyfuss plays this amazing dude who shapes the futures of so many young musicians' lives by lovingly pushing them to be all they could be? That's not like Mr. Lyles. He ruled with an iron fist and, to this day, I'm not entirely sure how he got away with it. Technology would never allow it now. You humiliate a trumpet player armed with an iphone and your name is mud. He'll tweet your ass outta town. Then, we were armed only with the large, first generation bag phones our dad kept in the glove box of the '87 Toyota Supra we drove. Hardly a town crier.

So, you can imagine how mercilessly we mocked the man behind his back. No one would have ever had the nerve to actually talk back to him. Still, we showed up on time (early) for everything in order to earn the much-coveted letter. Y'all. This letter (for the jacket I never got) was the hardest to earn at our High School. Seems backwards right? Well, we were a fine program. We marched our way through dozens of games, competitions and state finals. We even marched in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1994 (is that right, dad?). What? You watched it that year? You saw Kristin and me carrying the banner at the front (just behind Joey Lawrence on an enormous octopus float)? I Figured.

If I left you thinking it was all ridiculous, I'd be lying. I actually had fun in the band some times. Its where I learned how to stick to something long after I wanted to quit, how to polish brass buttons til they're shiny as gold and how to nearly burst with pride while pouring my heart in to something. I could tell you about the band's annual Cupcake Day wherein a couple hundred high schoolers would eat their weight in homemade cupcakes or how each August was cut short because we spent two weeks (yes, technically "band camp") practicing before school began. We traveled all over and some of my funniest memories are from that time. I even learned to play that sucker with four mallets, but who wants to brag?

I smile with equal parts joy and sympathy when I hear the familiar cadence of a local high school band. One day, I may even get up the nerve to show you the tasty photos taken each year... just me and my mallets. You know? I bet I'd go back for a day if I could. I'd probably spend the whole day laughing at how badly I wanted to fit in and the choice of clothing I selected. I'd probably also understand Mr. Lyles a lot more. And I'd smile.

New leaf.

2010-09-27T22:28:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day to feel like Autumn. It leaves me feeling equal parts invigorated and hesitant. Sure, there are parts of Fall that you'd have to be comatose not to enjoy. The air smells like pumpkins and football. And hope. And love. Nevertheless, I know what it brings and it makes me resent this lovely season. Like shooting the messenger. How can the season that brings me nutty lattes, new seasons of 30 Rock, brisk walks and pencil skirts have the nerve to affiliate itself with the likes of Winter?

How can it be time to move away from Summer already? It doesn't feel like it. I haven't seen the first leaf fall. It is officially Fall (as of last week) and I've not seen the first sign... until today. Today barely crept into the 70's- a welcome reprieve for all. We managed to have weather cooler than North Dakota, for goodness sake. Mark that down some where. Today also brought darkness shy of 7pm. Truth be told, my distaste for the Winter months has mostly to do with Daylight Savings. Sunlight just does something for me.

Still, its moments like these, sitting on a cozy couch near an open window, that I cannot help but smile. For me, Fall is always the season of beginning. Its the time each year when Katherine, Julie, Heidi and I get together to dream for the coming year (as well as pay respects to the following). It is the start of a new school year (which I cannot convince my 31-year-old self does not apply to me any longer) and I just feel like the reset button gets a nudge when the weather cools down. I think its fair to say that most folks feel it in Spring or at the beginning of the year. Nah- this time of year draws me to contemplation.

So what? Well, for me, in this space, it means a bit of newness as well. As I look back over the last year, I feel like I've showered you with silliness. Which, lets be real, is somewhat who I am. But not all. I think I am going to spend some time telling stories. Don't worry- I assure you this will not become a serious place where we discuss the globalization of health care... but it will likely also not be what I did last night. That's what Facebook is for (when will I become too old for that statement?). I will really write here. I figure, if you love a story as much as I do, this will be a fun little detour.

old people injury

2010-09-22T10:15:00.000-05:00

I think I have one, that is.

Let me back up.

Last night, I had an extremely energizing evening of organizing (mostly preparation for organizing) with my friend Alice. I really love order, so it left me with so much energy! I decided to go home and use some of that energy for good.

ON MY WII!

And, thus, I think I've pulled something in my right shoulder playing Wii tennis.

But that backhand was. worth. it.

xo

carol.

2010-09-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

Mom had a bad day today.

Heres how I know:

me: hey, mama
carol: hey bun, did you try to call me?
me: no....
carol: well. ok. hi!
me: hey mom.
carol: today has been a day from H-E- hell.
me: that is the best thing you've ever said.

I just love her.

Sorry for your bad day, mama. Prop those feet up and have diddy make you dinner. xo

misty, water-colored...

2010-09-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

memories!

Things that were just remembered by me:

- How I got good grades in 3rd grade and got to pick out the bed I wanted. Any bed. I chose.... a water bed. That's right. A water bed. It ruled.

- Dad (Diddy) and I had a ritual. Once a month, we would empty said bed of air bubbles. I would roll from one corner diagonally to the opposite corner. I loved it.

- My room was the one on the front of the house with a gardenia bush. It smelled lovely when the windows were open.

- One time Kristin got locked out and she knocked on my window til I came to the door. It took so long (it worked its way in to my dream) that she was in tears by the time I arrived to let her in. She was starting to think she'd be left to sleep in her car. Oh man.

- In middle school, my most often packed bag-lunch was simply a bag of microwave popcorn and a juicy juice. Gross. (kind of).

- I used to ~~sleep~~ nap in pink curlers because I was convinced I looked like Julia Roberts when I fluffed out my insanely thick ringlets in the morning.

Last, but not least, I thought Ronald Reagan was a grandparent of mine as a kid. We prayed for him every night and I just thought he was a relative... and he was old. It made sense to me. (True story: I flew in to the Dallas airport the day he died and I cried a lot.)

adieu.

case of the mondays.

2010-09-20T13:19:00.000-05:00

woke up to a headache.
writhed around a while.
gave up and just got ready for the day.
still got to work late.
lots of emails.
monday.

at least I'm going to Coco's for dinner. :)

Team Evans

2010-09-19T22:12:00.000-05:00

WHAT a blissful weekend!

Julia wed Jeremy on a beach in the Outerbanks. It was perfect weather, a constant breeze, a weirdo tourist who snapped pictures from 8 feet away during the ceremony, and oodles of gushy love stuff- EVERYthing a girl could hope for! It was simply beautiful!

Julia is probably the friend I've had the longest. Aside from Kristin. But she doesn't count... she has to love me. Its in the twin bylaws. Julia, on the other hand, chose to. We met in Summerville, South Carolina as leetle girls. She has been a constant friend (and delight) my whole life since then. It was nothing less than a total honor to stand with her on her most special day!

Jeremy and Julia have actually known each other longer! Life-long family friends, they got reacquainted after Julia got back from spending 2 years in Tanzania. It look about 2 dates to realize they were going to make a lifetime of this thing. And thank goodness they are. They make each other laugh. a lot (a non-negotiable in my book). They both get a little giddy when the other is around. Julia seems to have just relaxed in a really beautiful way. That's what love does, I guess.

So, there are a ton of gorgeous pictures... I just didn't take any of them. As soon as I have them, you'll see them. Another amazing part of the weekend? Two new friends that are just amazing. Mary Katherine and Karen. All I have to say is DUH. These two were just an absolute riot and I am already planning to visit both. It will just have to happen. ;)

What fun to enjoy the dreamy backdrop of the beach for such a lovely occasion. Here's to you, Team Evans! Love you!

what?

2010-09-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

I just started to google "bob's work out" (in an attempt to locate an awesome work out care of Biggest Loser fame) and the list of suggestions made me laugh.

There are a lot of questions that come to mind... but none more intriguing than "Bob's Your Uncle".

It turns out that is a phrase oft used in the UK.... wh wh wh whaaaaat?

Refer HERE for a giggle... and bob's your uncle.

this just in...

2010-09-15T15:53:00.000-05:00

For those of you wondering...

I got my blood work back and DO NOT have the crazy neuro condish I was tested for!!!!!

bliss.

2010-09-14T17:18:00.000-05:00

Supreme thanks to Holly for introducing me to this little nugget of visual peace. Behold, Things Organized Neatly.

Carol at a mall.

2010-09-14T15:42:00.002-05:00

Its been a while, so I'll toss you a Carol story.

We (Kristin, Chad and me) met up with them (Mom, Dad, and my grandparents- Big Daddy and Judy) at the Southpark mall. I had just flown in and we were all about to celebrate birthdays with a nice dinner together. Four birthdays between 7 of us.

So, after relaxing in a comfy chair chatting (while we wait for our reservation), mom leans over and says this:

carol: So, how are things? Are you feeling good?
me: (taking a breath to start to answer)
carol: (leaning in) do you want a pet?
me: are you drunk?
carol: *uncontrolled laughter*

two things:
- I have never wanted a pet. Of any sort, really. [I once had guinea pigs that I gave away less than a year later.] That is.. UNTIL i watched a documentary on the sweetest assistance dogs the world over. A dog named Salsa (a trained seizure-detecting dog!) won my heart. I am just saying... the tide may have turned. Stay tuned.
- You should know how quickly and hilariously Carol rattled off those questions. She's a wonder to behold.

Then we ate upscale pasta. And it was awesome.

xo

Gifted friend.

2010-09-13T23:07:00.000-05:00

Intentionally, that can go two ways. Yes, Sarah Mathias Brodine is wicked talented and creative but she also bestowed me with a gift. So there you have it!

Sarah (or Kara, as she is referred to in the Kirker fam) shares September 7th for a birthday. We are kindred spirits. We lived together in Columbia, SC while both doing full-time ministry and bonded quickly. In fact, I think we knew we'd be dear friends the moment we met. :)

Sarah and her hubs, Luke, live (with their son Nealon) in San Fran. Pretty dreamy, huh? Well, Sarah spent the month before her 30th bday accomplishing her own list of 30 challenges... a girl after my own heart, to be sure. Hers were amazing! Check them out here. Somehow, I lucked out and became the beneficiary of the most beautiful hand-decorated note cards EVer. Just look:

I mean, does that ribbon not just melt your heart?

Thank you, dearest Sarah for the lovely gift and EVEN more for being the kind of friend every girl should be so blessed to have! Love you, little triplet. :)

xo,

oh SNAP.

2010-09-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

... what a difference a year makes.

circa 2009

circa 2010.

Crazy Cat Eyes

2010-09-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

I had just gotten dilated and had to get some blood drawn. As I sat down in the chair, I was greeted by my phlebotomist (sp?) who was MOST definitely from the Caribbean. She said, "oh girl, yo dress look so com fuht ah bull" (it was). She chatted for another moment and then let out a little gasp and said, "YOU got some crazy cat eyes". A funny statement at the Emory Eye Clinic, to be sure.

Then, I saw the picture and you know what?

She's right.

(mom laughed a lot).

Santa Rosa Beach

2010-09-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

I hate to sound like a broken record, but...

Y'ALL.

I am a ridiculously blessed girl. Who gets to go to the gulf coast TWICE in two weeks? (In fairness, before then, it had been 4 years, but I digress). First, we went to PCB then, last weekend, we went to Santa Rosa Beach.

Catherine, Miranda and I loaded up our worldly goods and headed south for an epic Labor Day Weekend. Many adventures ensued. Such as, getting so involved in story telling that three control freaks did not notice our missed turn until stopping to use the restroom an hour later. We laughed for the following hour.

I have said this numerous times, but it is true. The trip was enchanted. Every single element was the *best* it could have been. Perfect weather, great food, incredible company, fun excursions, etc. We had a blast and here are a couple pictures to paint the picture for you. (But only a couple... the rest are just for us to remember.)

xo,
k

A week lost, but not forgotten.

2010-09-07T10:10:00.001-05:00

No, I didn't lose it.

You did.

Because I haven't blogged in that long. Sorry.

Just so much to cover and you and I both know that shuts me down. Over the next few days, I'll fill you in on my blissful trip to the beach, assorted things and a tribute to my beloved godfather, Pete, who went to Heaven over a week ago. I haven't been able to collect my thoughts quite yet. When I do, you'll be first to know.

BUT.

For today...

I AM 31!

Which means that I am officially a "thirtysomething". ;)

xo,
k

PCB...what what!

2010-08-31T23:38:00.001-05:00

Here are a couple pix....

8.24.10- 8.26.10: party time.

2010-08-26T09:36:00.000-05:00

Tuesday meant the celebration of one Anna Hildebrand's golden birthday

(never you mind that her actual bday is today)

Naturally, we had a progressive dinner in the 'hood!

Appetizers at the Marth's.

Dinner on Ashwood.

Dessert at my place!

I made ice cream cupcakes (which went along with Caramel Brownies and Pound Cake)

**yummie**

Its the most people I have had in my house ever. Allison counted 16 people who were comfortably seated, so my dreams have come true! Comfortable house guests!

Wednesday meant a goodbye dinner with my dearest Chelsea.

Its hard (and i mean HARD) to imagine Nashville without her. She heads home to Charleston today (via Clemson, of course) and I feel like a little piece of my heart is going with her. She's been a wonderful roommate and the kind of friend everyone needs. I'll miss her every day.

Here we are at Burger Up- Nashville's premiere local beef/veggie restaurant in the 12th South area. Naturally, there was a wait for such a place. We took the time to try our hand at a band photo.

Magical, if you ask me.

* I particularly like how Nathan and Chels are doing the same thing... mirror-image like*

OK OK OK.... no more sad. I have to work and I can't cry at my desk. I LOVE YOU, CHELSEA!!

Today (Thursday) means hopping a flight to Panama City Beach, baby!!

Thanks to Southwest's new direct flight, a crew of us head out after work today! Let's hear it for airbrushed t's and no tar balls!

xo,

8.23.10- Cherry Pickin'

2010-08-23T11:55:00.001-05:00

Woke up to find this lil beaut hovering over my hizzle.

What you don't see is the HUGE stump grinder truck on the other side of the house. I would so prefer they remove the two trees that serve as an obstacle course for me every time I go in/out of my driveway. Instead, they trim the nice one. a warning might have been nice. Ah well, probably for the best.

pick on, picker.

8.22.10- Catch up!

2010-08-23T11:50:00.001-05:00

No, lovies. I won't leave you hanging. These will be pix for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I was too busy having fun and relaxing to snap away the way I usually do.

Over the weekend, a group of us went to a lake house to get away with our favorite bride to be- Hilda!

Fun ensued, ok? Here are some pix. But not many.

getting the room ready for the parTAY

standard.

Hostess with the Mostest #1

Hostess with the Mostest #2

Hostess with the Mostest #3

Hilarious misspelled lil signs

The goods..... like you thought I'd show the actual goods? puh-leaze.

Love you, Hilda! What fun!

xo,

8.19.10- Grown up.

2010-08-19T10:42:00.001-05:00

This is Chris. He's a grown up. You know how I know? He's finishing Medical School and knows things. He came over to my house last night to take a gander at my MRI films. He answered some questions and taught me some stuff. What a guy.

see?

8.18.10- MRI Madness

2010-08-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

FIRST thing in the morning, Chelsea drove me to Diagnostic Health to partake in one of these:

Don't let this graph fool you. It is like a cocoon. A very tight-fitting cocoon that is loud and requires me to simulate blindness, deafness and lack of memory to survive it.

My body plays dead.

And I made it! Now, I just wish I could read the damn thing...

Later this evening, I get to meet Gus Wonder (blessed addition to the Gresham Family). Its a good day, indeed. :)

8.17.10- Sara the Birthday Girl!

2010-08-17T23:02:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday, dearest Sara! You are adored.

ps. duh- we took it to Tokyo for the event. We don't play.

8.16.10- Simple Pleasure

2010-08-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Look what came in the mail!! It doesn't take much.

8.15.10- Waffle House

2010-08-15T23:18:00.002-05:00

Why wouldn't we?

8.14.10- Tomato Art Festival

2010-08-14T18:44:00.001-05:00

...was so ~~fun~~ HOT. I love East Nashville. They get how to festival it up.

Fun was had by all. Mostly during the set played by these hotties (obviously, I mean that literally as well).

8.13.10- Jake's last day

2010-08-13T11:47:00.000-05:00

So, you know I work at a MOST ridiculously fun place, right? Well, you may remember Jake. Well, today was his last day at Emma and, to pay tribute, we all wore his "uniform" of a white tshirt and jeans. Ironically, today he wore a blue tshirt. Here we are (top is our Nash* office and bottom is our Portland office):

What a fun crew. :)

Jake will be sorely missed. Here's to you, friend!

- k

*yes, I'm wearing the patch in the picture.

8.12.10- Momentous

2010-08-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

Friends, tonight I will stand beside Chelsea and behind a table in Nashville's Premiere Music/Hockey/Etc venue. We will rep "HeadCount" and register young people to vote. We'll talk about the issues. We'll make friends. We'll help shape tomorrow.

THEN.

WE WILL ROCK.

That's right. These boys (oh, how I love thee) will be opening:

for these guys:

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

8.11.10- How has it been THREE years??

2010-08-11T19:44:00.001-05:00

It is shocking that it has already been THREE years since these two crazy kids tied the knot.

They're my favorite forever.

*author's note: it was approximately 314 degrees that day in Charleston. Hence the sweat.

8.10.10- Dinner with friends

2010-08-10T22:02:00.000-05:00

we hosted a dinner at the house tonight. So lovely.

I told them, "make it like American Gothic"... and this is what happened. I love it.

xo,
k

pop quiz:

2010-08-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

social suicide?

or early Halloween?

8.9.10- Cool day(te)

2010-08-09T11:37:00.001-05:00

I love numbers, so today is neat!

In relation to yesterday's post, here are two things I found interesting:

First, here is something of a picture of what my vision looks like. Its cool to have a picture. (Unfortch, this time, my left eye has a significant blind spot, so add that in, but still. Interesting):

Next, I found this:

Guess when people say I'm "one in a million", they aren't far off.

:/,
k

8.8.10- Eye ball Woes 3.0

2010-08-08T19:38:00.000-05:00

I wish I weren't telling you this story again.

You may remember my unwelcome eye problems. As much as I hate to write these words... I will. I have Optic Neuritis again. This time in my left eye (previously referred to as "the one that worked"). I don't know what it means. I don't even really want to talk about it. Not because I'm trying to be a jerk. Because I don't know anything and don't know what to tell you (until I get back in to see the Doc). Just figured I would keep things real and let you in on it.

Things I do know:
- I am probably legally blind when I am sitting in front of my computer.
- I am in the painful stage... it genuinely hurts to look far left or right.
- I am afraid, really.
- I am looking forward to going on a walk and wonder what adventures will find me...as I walk blindly.

So, here are the eyes that betray me lately. Seem nice, don't they? Those buggers can be deceptive.

To be continued...

8.7.10- Lake Fun

2010-08-08T19:20:00.001-05:00

My view for the weekend:

Thank you, Daileys!

8.6.10- Date

2010-08-06T09:49:00.001-05:00

we loaded up on Whole Foods dinners and tasty sodas to go see a rom-com.
(movie= disappointing but company = magnif!)

What a splendid night with Catherine!

8.5.10- Double Header

2010-08-05T17:07:00.000-05:00

From last night: Chelsea and Eden return to a game of Scrabble with some besties.

From today's lunch with Michelle and Joanna (mere moments before a mini-typhoon):

(super flattering, obvs).

xo,
k

8.4.10- Today, I miss them.

2010-08-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

this was as they drove away from the Promised Land in favor of Texas.

COME BACK! Its been long enough.

xo, k

8.3.10- All is Right in the World

2010-08-03T21:52:00.001-05:00

8.2.10 - Go Sounds!

2010-08-02T23:14:00.000-05:00

Photo August

2010-08-02T12:11:00.001-05:00

You know I love to keep things fresh.

SO, in that vein, I have decided to share a photo for every day of August.

Yesterday's was an easy choice! During my visit to Chateau Thomas (oy vey- that house is magnificent!), I enjoyed my inaugural fishing experience and....drumroll... CAUGHT A FISH!

Notice my joy.

The weekend was just plain happiness. Today's pic will be a little later this evening... post baseball game with my Capernaum buddies.

xo,
kk

Return!

2010-08-01T11:51:00.000-05:00

Hi friends!

I missed you. I mean that. There has been stuff that I wanted to share with you over the last week and that tells me that this space has become more than simply an outlet. Its a place I look forward to investing in and then, sometimes, talking with a few of you (in real life!) about those things.

So, you should know I've missed you. I'm better for my little hiatus, so thanks for affording me that. I needed it.

I have had my batteries recharged in numerous ways- some too precious to me to share here BUT I will share a few. You will not be surprised to learn that that some of that refreshment came to me through people... my people. I have have deep, meaningful talks with Kristin (per usual. I will say it again... HOW do you people not have a twin?), Katherine (got to meet baby Olivia and that just made things complete. What an angel!!), Emily (and that was a triple header.... Traci, Holly, Meagan, and Em all at once!! BTW- happy bday, T!), etc. It left me feeling very loved and I just can't say enough about that.

In totally unrelated news, I am endlessly amazed by the flow of traffic I see on my beloved blog. I spend so much time wondering about you. I see Saskatoon, Toronto (i LOVE Canada, so this does my heart good), some international cities I can't even pronounce, LOTS of traffic from Birmingham, and even small towns around my hometown in Charleston. Its a total riot to imagine who you are and what you do. I wish this blog went both ways. What if, in exchange for getting a glimpse (or stare, really) into my world, I got a glimpse of yours? That would be so lovely and more fair, some how. :)

OK, time to go enjoy the rest of my Sunday. I just wanted to let you know I'm back and you can expect to hear from me tomorrow. I have some good pics of late.

xo,
k

hiatus.

2010-07-27T17:38:00.000-05:00

I am taking the week off from blogging to enjoy some much needed quiet. Its been an intense cuppla days, y'all.

See you next Monday, faithful readers.

- Kelley

(eating up Psalms 139, lately. Who knows, you might like to as well.)

Confession:

2010-07-23T13:53:00.001-05:00

I just got really excited about the prospect of spending an evening in solitude. Tagging every blog post I've ever written. For searching purposes.

My memory is freakishly good... creepy good. Like I-remember-what-I-wore-for-my-school-pictures-in-3rd-grade-good. But, the old girl can't recall every post, youknowwhatimsayin?

So, if you're looking for me tonight. Don't check any social setting. Check my house. Under a blanket (FALSE... after a ridiculous electric bill, I keep it at 81 lately), tagging away.

Tomorrow will be the peak of my weekend when I spend the day doing cannonballs into the kiddie pool with James (he's bringing his mom Courtney and sister Mary Margaret for safety purposes). I can't wait!

xo
k

Milestone... missed?

2010-07-22T17:42:00.003-05:00

...but NOT forgotten!

It seems but a moment ago when we began this journey. I dare say my only readers who were on board from the first moment (and have not bailed yet) have got to be Kristin (and mom and dad, prob) and Courtney.

If you can believe it- that was 501 posts ago! Here's a wordle of some recent posts:

I had every intention of highlighting my 500th post with much pomp and circumstance! Alas, I will simply take a moment to say that his has been the most fun project of my creative life thus far. This is the first place I began to love to write. I enjoy having this friendly void as an outlet. I even love that some of you are now my friend because of this blog. That is amazing.

Without getting overly gushy, I just want to say thanks for continuing to check in and be invested in my life. I love you. (yes, you.... person who I do not know exists that reads every day.)

Here's to another 500!

The transformation:

2010-07-21T18:22:00.000-05:00

became...

~~Two~~ Three things:
1. This is mostly for Kris. She likes to see what she enabled. She's my hair guru, obv.
2. I am obviously exhausted at this point which explains the bags under my eyes in both pix.
3. I put up a picture that didn't showcase my gray hairs as much I could have. Because I'm the editor.

love you,
kk

GPOYW

2010-07-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

that means "Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday" (proof here).

so, here you go:

(why yes, that is freshly colored hair. No more gray, suckas!!)

*update on yesterday's challenge post* : I spent my evening reading and working- no TV. I will say thank goodness for This American Life for the moments it got too quiet in my lil cottage. I think I'm going to like this phase of no TV. I just need to get comfortable with silence in the meantime. Good things happen in my heart when I'm quiet enough to notice it.

Sucker for a Challenge.

2010-07-20T14:29:00.000-05:00

So, you already know I love a challenge.

Like giving up alcohol for the whole of 2010.
Like Hula Hooping a half marathon.
Like playing softball in high school (ignoring my lack of depth perception and athleticism.)
Like committing to ride 115 miles on my bike in October for "Jack and Back"

well, I have another, y'all.

Its not as defined but equally satisfying.

I am only going to try and only watch 7 hours of tv a week.

I KNOW.

I say "try" because I won't be Stalin about it. I just want to get more and more in to reading and my recent tv/movie watching pension (i use "recent" VERY loosely) has squashed out reading in general. I now have a book to finish for a book club next month and need to get to it! I am a slow reader, so I need to get started.

The lack of cable and DVR helps this considerably, I'll be honest. Otherwise, how would I refrain from
watching stuff like this on the Dish!

Feel free to interrupt me if you see me looking far-too-cool reading at a local coffee shop. Chances are, I'm reading the same sentence over and over.

xo

2010-07-20T13:18:00.002-05:00

I GET TO SEE EMMY IN JUST A FEW HOURS!!!!!

I can't help myself.

2010-07-20T10:08:00.000-05:00

I guess I am a full-on country fan.

I keep listening to this song. (and I didn't even have a dog growing up).

It does make me want to stop by Savannah Round and ask to walk around.

xo

mind. blown.

2010-07-19T00:20:00.001-05:00

This weekend has sufficiently blown my mind- hence my clever title.

But, for real... it. is. blown.

Let's start with having some of my favorites arrive on Saturday (Boe, Dana, Adrienne, Chelsea and other assorted guests) to celebrate one Gregory Fenske and his bride Emily as they made things legal. It was, by far, the most swank event I've ever been to in Nashville and maybe ever. The finest of everything. Made me wish I was sipping some bubbly (because I'm still sticking to my year long hiatus from the fruits of the vine, I'll have you know. I'm kind of surprised myself, really.)

So, after a gorgeous wedding at Covenant Presbyterian, we made our way to War Memorial Auditorium. Having been a few times for shows, I did not know what to expect. It is such a cool building but nothing I would ever have expected for a fancy event. I sat in a folding chair on the main floor for Ray Lamontagne, come to think of it. You will just have to take my word for it- UNBELIEVABLE. Those event coordinators worked some magic and turned that place upside down making it in to a wedding wonderland. Forget that I thought the cocktail hour was the actual reception- it was that cool. As they ushered us in to the building I think I gasped. No joke. Maybe it was because I eyed a sushi station. There's really no telling.

The one thing I do know is that I am still kicking myself for leaving my purse at home. Had I brought it, I may have a picture to show you from the blessed event (or at the very least the dance floor), an ID to get in to the Roberts after party or a spare pair of flip flops to revive my aching feet. (which, for the rec, were hurting so badly that they were stinging. I thought they may explode with each step.) Instead, I have only the memories, pajamas and watching "Shag" with Dana instead of Roberts, and feet that had to be in an ice bath.

All things said and done, it was so lovely that I just keep thinking about it all day today.

AS IF that weren't enough, I saw Inception tonight!!!!! whoa. It was a doozie. It is important that you know I am probably the only person in Nashville who couldn't have come up with the name Christopher Nolan without googling him first. I also had no idea this movie existed or was coming to theaters this weekend. The way I heard about it? Watching Joseph Gordon Levitt on Jimmy Fallon last week. The reason I saw the interview? Because I only get local network stations on my tv now. You can imagine that I had no idea what I was getting in to. I only knew that I wanted to not miss the hype like I did the whole Avatar craze... and the clip they showed was outstanding.

I will share specific thoughts once you've all had a chance to see it. (Really, I'm just tired and don't want to keep typing). Go ahead and assume enlightenment... I am cooler that way.

Watching it was similar to watching the Matrix the first time- in its own realm. I think I could take a course on "Inception" and still have questions. I think my brain is still in shock. The strangest part of the whole evening took place in the parking garage, though. On the way in, I noticed two girls holding shopping bags. They were noticeable because I almost never see people standing where they were standing. Not near cars, per se. Definitely not near stores. Just.... the entrance to the parking garage. Well, three hours later, I would absolutely swear they had not moved an inch. That would not be a big deal... except that I had just left a movie that left my brain sore (and questioning reality*) and they seemed like they couldn't have moved an inch. But why wouldn't they find a place to sit down or put down their bags or something?! I ignored it, deciding I was nuts. UNTIL Chris called me and said, "so... I may be crazy but there were these two girls.." and I started freaking out a little.

Lessons learned:
1. I shouldn't be allowed to see brilliant movies on a school night.
2. My totem would be a yo yo.**
3. Everyone who endured the 83 degree temperature inside our theater should have gotten free popcorn.
4. I am ridiculous.***
5. I will see this movie again.

My mind is satisfied. ROCKED but satisfied. Another work week begins in the morning and I need to get my act together. Think I'll wake up and work out? Yeah, me neither but we'll see.

xo,
kk

*not really, c'mon. But... maybe? I don't know. Perhaps. Not really. What?
**you must see this movie.
*** not new but always note worthy.

Delight!

2010-07-16T10:08:00.001-05:00

I don't know what is more fun than waking up, getting to work (in my favorite skirt, no less), and logging on to my computer... ONLY to find that dearest Annie has written a ridiculously kind post about ME!

I can't stop smiling. :)

Also, last night, I had dinner with my friend Sarah (wherein I made a pasta dish including pulled chicken, cherry tomatoes, asparagus and pesto- YUM!). We giggled and told stories and just had a blast. SPEAKING of stories.... this one has to be told.

Behold: Air Jeff. (my comments in red... cuz I can. Cuz its my blog.)

Sarah told me of a friend of hers who met and dated a man they referred to as "Air Jeff". Air Jeff was (is, i presume) a professional skydiver. (who knew that was a profession?) One evening, Air Jeff picked up her friend and proceeded to tell her about his pet hawk. (in fairness, Sarah confused it for an EAGLE and I started to convulse with laughter. I just kept imagining... where must one live in order to have a pet eagle??) The best part? The hawk's name is LeroyCarter.Com. (You can't make this up) So, he offers her a visit with his pet hawk. In the car. (!!!!) So, Sarah's friend, of course, starts to wonder how the ~~eagle~~ ~~hawk~~ LeroyCarter.com gets fed. He happily offered that he sometimes freezes... meat... for LeroyCarter.Com. He said sometimes he has to get resourceful and pick up fresh roadkill. (.....) so he keeps a plastic bag in his car!

Y'all.

OBviously, things didn't work out for our main characters. (shocker). THE BEST part of this story? Sarah, totally genuinely, said, "things probably would have worked out if he had a pet penguin."

I started flipping out laughing and immediately grabbed a piece of paper so as to not forget to tell you.

Like Bryan says, "Everything I do. I do it for you".

Living a Lie: a dramatic journey to identical truth.

2010-07-13T23:24:00.000-05:00

Hello, readers.

I would like to welcome our esteemed guest, Mrs. Kristin Kirker Rochester. A woman among women. My co-boarder in the womb of one Carol Sue Kirker during a balmy 1979.*

Kelley: Kristin, thank you ever so much for joining us this evening.
Kristin: Thanks, boo. (I will go by that for the remainder of the article to keep us straight.)
B: Do us a favor and walk us through the conversation and happenings that changed our lives forever. Not to be dramatic or anything.
K: I was at a party for the Fourth and bumped into a mother of 3 year old twin boys. They looked incredibly identical and, after mentioning I was a twin, she asked me if we were as well. I answered with my standard, "we're fraternal but look identical. Like Mary Kate and Ashley Olson". She followed that comment by saying she figures her sons are identical but they just hadn't gotten around to the DNA test yet.
B: I am on the edge of my seat. What does it all mean?
K: She went on to say, "don't you know that identical twins can have separate amniotic sacs?" **
B: Right... uh.. what??
K: So- my thought bubble said, "then WHY (in the midst of our similarities) did Cam and Carol assume we were fraternal when the docs said it was so?"

This is probably the point in the story where it is essential you know we were a total surprise. Like... "we didn't make our presence known until mom was in labor" kind of surprise. All along, Carol was told that she was carrying one big boy. The only proof to the contrary was a recurring dream she had. Mom dreamt that she was rocking a baby but could hear another baby crying in the distance. Never the one she was holding. This would prove to be foreshadowing of what was to come. It is also true that the author of this blog is old enough to be a product of the times before regular ultrasounds. We digress.

K: I think I also said, "OMG... I need to call boo!"
B: Which I recall reacting less logically. Didn't I scream, "WHAT AM I IF NOT A FRATERNAL TWIN?"
K: THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE HER BESTIE?
B: riiiiiight?!
K: Didn't you immediately google it?
B: I did. I also sent mom and dad an email asking if it could be true.
K: Dad responded with "yeah, guess so"
B: To which I responded... "GUESS WE'RE BOYS TOO!"
K: You're not rational.
B: There's no time for logic. 30 years have been a lie. We have to figure out our new story to tell people.
K: What should it be?
B: This isn't the place. We have to figure that out amongst ourselves.
K: So, wait... do you think we're identical for real?
*silence*
B: Kris.
K: What? Are we?
B: IMPOSS. you have red hair. I have brown.
K: NEITHER of us come by those colors honestly, if you know what I'm saying.
B: At least I'm graying honestly.
K: Get back to the point.
B: Let's wrap this up. I'm getting tired.
K: Me too.
B: So, from here on out we're just not sure. Is that right?
K: Yep.
B: So, we may be identical twins. We may be fraternal twins.
K: Yeah.

B: Thank you for your insights, Ms. Rochester. I know we've taken you away from laundry doing and various and sundry tasks. You are appreciated.
K: My phone is going to die, by the way.
B: I love you too. G'night.
K: Oh, boo.... I love you. Good night.
B: I hear a helicopter.***

*during Hurricane David, yes.
** Until now, we believed what we'd been told: Identical means a shared sac and placenta while fraternal means separate for both.
***I have never claimed not to have A.D.D. Also, this is, verbatim, the phone call that just took place on a quiet Tuesday evening.

xo,
your potentially identical friend.

in keeping...

2010-07-13T11:58:00.000-05:00

...with the theme of making much of the mundane:

(a) I just made a deelish meal of brown rice and steamed veggies. COVERED with black pepper.

and

(b) I got my toes done with Coco last night and was not totally sure about my choice of barbie-dream-car-pink but today... I LOVE IT! I keep staring at it.

girly mcgirltown,
k

block?

2010-07-13T10:46:00.001-05:00

I don't know. I sort of have writer's block lately.

I think it is a result of reading that most people have one good year of blogging in them. Anything after that becomes something of a watered down bullet list of the comings and goings of one's life.

y'all.

THAT. IS. ME.

I have subjected you to... gasp... the contents of my FOOD choices. Who am I? My late grandmother (may she rest)? She used to love to tell us what she'd eaten. Oh man...

So, here's the worst part: I don't think I'll change, thankyouverymuch. I don't pretend that you all visit this lil blog space for world-shattering wisdom or pithy politic-ing. You come here because I write like I speak and, chances are, my life is a little more ridiculous than yours. Who doesn't love that?

Buckle up. This break-neck adventure of the ordinary will keep on keepin' on.

Next stop? "Living a Lie: an identical twin in a fraternal twin's body" with guest blogger/collaborator Kristin Kirker Rochester.

xo

dreamy.

2010-07-11T13:49:00.001-05:00

I am in my pajamas. At 1:45pm on a Sunday.
I just whipped up a berry cobbler. (truth be told, its frozen berries with a tiny bit of "crumble" on top.)
I am listening to This American Life's stories on camp. and loving it.

I have worked for a little bit but I find my attention being pulled toward picking out a new hair cut and painting my nails.

Is this the girliest day of my life until this point?

maybe.

just maybe.

OOOH- cobblers done.

*addendum

2010-07-07T14:37:00.001-05:00

... beware of daring yourself to smile all day lest your less lovely clients test you on it.

thatisall.

TODAY.

2010-07-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

Today, friends.

TODAY is the day I wear my new fabulous heels.
TODAY is the day I wear a smile ALL day.
TODAY is the day my mind is a little calmer, my outlook a bit brighter.

Why?

CHRISTY STARTS WORK HERE TODAY! I can't keep from yelling it! She's so great and we're about to get to have her here working with us each day! I am so grateful and so excited.

Really... pictures will probably follow.

Oh- and I giggled through "Eclipse" last night with Chelsea and Jessica. If I'd read the books, I feel sure I would have gotten a bit more in to it. Still, it was giggle worthy and a nice break for a LONG work day.

xo

a week(end) in pictures.

2010-07-05T12:37:00.001-05:00

Mom and Dad come by Emma to get a key- the fun begins! Work family... meet real family.

Laudy is officially over. Take a look at the empty porch- crazy.

The first guests at my new place (besides Cam and Carol) were friends over for breakfast!

That is creme brulee french toast, maple sausage and hash brown casserole. YUM!

Then Rebecca came over to see the place and brought the girlies! Here is Peyton playing with mom's parakeets. :)

Not pictured: Pictures from the impromptu grill out at Naters' for the 4th, the blood sweat and tears of moving, or pics from the Ryman on Wednesday.

I am a happy girl! xo

the Hizzle!

2010-07-05T11:57:00.004-05:00

And now, my dears, I present...

MY house!

Take a another tour, won't you?

xo,
k

*anything hanging on a wall is thanks to Cam. Anything clean is thanks to Carol. Anything arranged in my room is thanks to Courtney. THANK you, loves.

Settled.

2010-07-02T23:45:00.001-05:00

I finally feel like, even if not one more thing got hung on the walls, I am settled in this home. (video update to come soon. Just a li'l sweeping and picking up necessary. That's how I roll.)

WHAT a great feeling! Mom and Dad have absolutely spoiled me rotten by hanging pictures, mirrors, decor, and drapes. Buying cleaning supplies... USING cleaning supplies. I even got a vacuum! (i have never written vacuum before. Woulda guessed 2 c's and 1 u, but I'd be wrong... obv.)

I am loving life! Clean air (thanks to the air purifiers!), filed papers (I love it, OK?), functional internet (more on that in a sec)... Its all coming together so nicely.

Everything was great until the neighbor came over today and (without introducing himself until I forced him to) told me to stop parking in his yard. Sidenote: who knew my driveway is his yard? Whatev. He didn't make the best first impresh, but I'm gonna win him over. You just wait. Good thing Laura and Seth seem cool. They're on the other side and I will win them over by babysitting. (It doesn't take a therapist to see I am the kind of girl who *needs* to be liked. Or at least not hated... for parking in someone's yard. I digress.)

THE CABLE GUY.
Y'all. That dude showed up completely annoyed that he had to do his job. I mean, I get that no one wants to be drilling under a house in the heat of the afternoon sun.... but is that my fault? I am paying good money and had no way of knowing my house wasn't "ready" for internet or "an ideal situation". I just waved my benjamins and got work done. (right.)

Did I bat my eyelashes and get free help setting up my wireless? duh.
Did I win him over so much that he didn't leave before showing me pictures of his grand babies? duh.
Did he say I was nice but a little high strung? double duh.

Mish accomplished. I am now the proud owner of channels 2-20 (excluding ESPN and CNN) and bargain basement internet. But seriously- I win. Comcast, do you hear that? I WIN. Its cheap. It will encourage me to read... and its cheap!

In summary, I would like to say that this evening was magical. Dinner at Mafi's with Will, Kelly, Sarah Mac, Meg, Tim, Mom and Dad was fabulous. Let's face it, I just whipped up a batch of "Creme Brulee' French Toast" (because it has to sit for 8 hours) and I'm ti-red. I'm about to swan dive in to my cozy bed and hope that my "black out" curtains don't let me sleep til 2.

holler.

Today is hot dog day at work!

2010-06-30T12:03:00.000-05:00